Thursday, January 24, 2013

SUBUcasms

Incidents from my daily life, cited with a pinch of salt (shared by me on Facebook over the years...)

Wah re Indian TV censorship! Leonard has to restrict himself by describing Sheldon's comic-con costume as 'kick***', but it is perfectly okay for Fast Track to scream 'move your ass' in a completely out-of-context advertisement.
30 Jun 2013

Smart move by Vidya Balan in Ghanchakkar! By playing the role of a woman with a weird (read bad) sense of dressing, she has silenced the fashion police this time ;)
25 Jun 2013

...just saw the trailer of Policegiri! The judge who decided to delay Sanjay Dutt's imprisonment to let him complete this movie should also be put behind bars.
15 Jun 2013

When my wife's driving the car, I don't get to sit on the back seat...The atheist in me does!
11 June 2013

Dear Mr. Neighbour! Haven't you heard the story about the boy who cried wolf? Nobody's going to believe your freaking car alarm when the thieve actually strikes...
5 Feb 2013

Yes, I want only one chicken burger! Extra cheese - no thank you! No, I don't want fries with it! Thank you, but I wouldn't like to have anything to drink along with my burger! Seriously, I am not interested to know about your combo-deal! Yes, I will eat it here! No, I do not have five rupees' change!
Heck, my wife asks lesser questions when I return home late at times.
2 Feb 2013

...while channel surfing this morning, I stumbled upon the Benny Hinn show. After preaching the audience 'to stop worrying about physical appearances and focus on one's soul', he went on to sell the bible with 'an attractive leather cover'!!!
17 Oct 2012

The fuming driver stepped out and held the biker, who had barely brushed against his car, by the collar. As the argument heated up, a smiley-card dangling from the car's rear-view mirror caught my attention - one side read 'LOVE' and the other 'PEACE'.
22 Sep 2012

Tricky question: "Does this dress look good on me?"
Trickier question: "Is this dress better than the previous one I tried?"
Killer question: "You aren't even looking! Tell me... what was the color of the last dress I showed you?"
4 Jul 2012

"What's all this fuss about antioxidants! If it's so important, why wasn't it part of the Balanced Diet / Nutrition chapter in your primary school book?" the old lady sitting at the table beside mine exclaimed. I silently put aside my cup of green tea...
17 Jun 2012

good news: ...so many choices :)
bad news: ...the darned 2 liter limit :(
17 Mar 2012

Scene: Finale class of the Shiamak dance school happening inside the aerobics-room of my gym. Small kids putting up a fine performance in front of their parents...
Sad part: 90% of the audience is watching the performance thru the small screen of their mobile phones while recording!
Sadder part: I too miss the performance as I get busy updating this status on FB!
Damn! I hate gadgets!!!
3 Mar 2012

...while watching a soap opera on Star Plus (plz don't judge me) with my wife, the (innocent) heroine, Kavya is slapped by her mother-in-law (who else?), and poor she falls face down on the floor (a shot which is shown repeatedly 3 times).
My wife turns towards me and exclaims, "Did you see that!?"
I nod my head in sympathy...
"...Kavya is wearing exactly the same ear-rings which I had bought from Delhi last week," my wife concludes!
26 Feb 2012

A busy crossing... I'm waiting behind a Maruti A-star to get to cross over to the opposite side of the street...
Suddenly the vehicle ahead of me starts rolling back... I honk! ...it keeps approaching my car... I honk again! No amount of honking manages to stop the bumpers of our cars from eventually meeting!!!!
"Oops! I turned the rear-view mirror towards my face, and got busy in applying lipstick. Hence I failed to notice that my car was moving," SHE explained matter-of-factly...
22 Feb 2012

Conclusion I derived after observing my relatives during my bro's wedding: we Bongs are 'distinctively crazy'!
Each one of us eats till he/she lets out a loud burp, and every meal is followed by a generous dose of Digene. And to shield against the harsh 'dilli ki sardi' everybody turned to the classic Boroline and mufflers, monkey caps (no, these items aren't extinct yet) ;)
19 Feb 2012

...lesson learnt! While having dinner, one shouldn't ask for an extra helping when he is drunk.
I did something unforgivable last night... asked for 'one more julab gamun' sitting amidst 45 relatives :(
18 Feb 2012

finally I caught up on my sleep! ...at the theater ...while watching 'ek maiy aur ek tu'!
13 Feb 2012

You know it's a national holiday when one TV channel is showing Border, another Gadar to be followed by Gandhi and the prime time is blocked for Manoj Kumar movies!
Sigh... definitely not an apt day to laze at home watching TV :(
26 Jan 2012

...one of those days when I was caught in a conflict between my head and my heart. I listened to my wife!
15 Jan 2012

One of those days when the heart feels "TGIF", but the calendar says "SHIT" (Sorry Honey It's Thursday)...
12 Jan 2012

So, what's the final verdict? Is the world coming to an end in 2012?
I need an answer quick - before the last date to plan my investments draws near...
2 Jan 2012

Sheer casting error in in MI4! Why did they choose Anil Kapoor for that role, when Shakti Kapoor would have been a perfect fit :P
22 Dec 2011

The two dreaded words are all set to screw up my Saturday night ...
DRY DAY :(
2 Oct 2010