Thursday, November 7, 2013

वही टाइम, वही ट्रेन, वही रूट और वही सारे हमसफ़र....

वही टाइम, वही ट्रेन, वही रूट और वही सारे हमसफ़र....

...लेकिन आज पहली बार मेरे बगल में बैठे अंकल से मैने थोड़ी बातें की.
... पहली बार स्कूल के उन बच्चों की अन्ताक्षरी मुझे शोर सी नहीं लगी.
(और शायद उन के साथ मैने मन ही मन थोड़ा गुनगुनाया भी)
...पहली बार एक अजनबी परिवार के साथ ताश के दो हाथ खेले.
...पहली बार चिल्लाया नहीं जब उस भिखारी ने मेरा घुटना थपथपाते हुए एक रूपया माँगा.
...पहली बार खिडकी से बाहर झाँका, और जाना की उस कंक्रीट जंगल के अलावा भी एक और पहलु है इस शहर का.
...पहली बार एक नए मुझसे मिला मैं, और उसके साथ काफी समय बिताया!

क्यूंकि आज जल्दबाजी में मेरा स्मार्ट फ़ोन घर में भूल आया हूँ मैं...

(this is my 1st attempt to write in Hindi after primary school, so please excuse mistakes in grammar and spellings)

Monday, July 29, 2013

Examinations simplified!

The first thing that came to my mind when I saw this video about 'examify' was, "I wish somebody would have thought of this idea when I was in high school!"
Although I do have a concern, that if this app gains popularity, it would be like blessing every fighter in the Kurukshetra battlefield with a Brahmastra*. And in today's world where the cut off marks of even the not-so-popular colleges are touching the 100% mark, I wonder what would be the aftereffects of distributing such a power to all students.

Franklin Templeton Investments partnered the TEDxGateway Mumbai in December 2012, and a young hacker, Angad Nadkarni, presented an overview about his creation, 'examify' during one of the sessions. As he spoke about the challenges every student goes through while facing the cut-throat competition in every field, we could see an empathizing audience cheer his theories about 'noise' and and the solution he offered as an answer to counter this 'noise'.

The app uses the fundamentals of data mining doubled with Angad's hacking skills to 'steal' data from other websites, and the result is a magic wand to tell a student the questions he/she can expect in an examination. Awesome, isn't it?

So if you are a student, or are close to one, do not restrict from viewing/sharing the video link above to guarantee better results! Kudos to the young Angad for coming up with a brilliant idea...


- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
* Brahmastra, sometimes known as the Brahma Astra (Astra means 'weapon'), was described in a number of the Puranas as considerably the deadliest weapon. It was said that when the Brahmastra was discharged, there was neither a counter attack nor a defense that could stop it.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

THE PERFECT ROAD TRIP

So what comes to your mind when I say the four words - THE PERFECT ROAD TRIP?
•    Probably an open jeep or a convertible?
•    Exquisite weather?
•    A beautiful companion?
•    Lovely music collection?
•    A trip to Goa?

Unfortunately THE PERFECT ROAD TRIP of mine had none of these, yet it turned out to be just perfect. How? Read on...

Let me now pull you away from the dream points I have listed above, and throw some light on the real situation I was in. So, I was driving a rented Maruti 800 which seemed to be at least fifteen years old. The weather was hot and humid, just as it usually is in any coastal belt during the month of March. My companion was Ankur, a hitchhiker I had met just a couple of minutes ago. The only music I could hear was the cacophony generated by the rickety parts of the vintage car. And, I was headed to Pune from Shrivardhan (a small beach-town in the Konkan region of Maharashtra).

It all started three days back when I, with my fifty odd colleagues, had set out to Shrivardhan for a project get-together and team building session. To cut a long story short, after last night’s bonfire party, I was so sloshed that I do not remember what happened after the last jig I performed on Yo Yo Honey Singh’s latest number. I opened my eyes today morning to find myself lying in a corner of the beach, with none of my colleagues in sight. When I called up one of them, I was informed that they had already left for Pune an hour back. So all that I could do was rent a car using my resort owner, Mr. Gaekwad’s contacts, and here I was on my way back home. The deal was that I would be contacted by a guy called Rajesh in Pune, and he’ll bring the car back to Shrivardhan. As soon as I entered the car, it was very evident by the whiff inside that it belonged to a local fisherman who used the vehicle to ferry his day’s catch. Seeing my frowned nose, Mr. Gaikwad pulled out an Ambi Pur freshener from his car and generously sprayed it inside the Maruti.

“Here you go. It’s as fresh as new,” he said. To my surprise he was right, and the fragrance was lemon, which matched perfectly with the wedge of lime I was licking to cure my bad hangover. I drove out of the resort, unsure about how long the junk car would hold its ground.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My fear was no mean exaggeration, and that was proven by the fact that the car’s engine stopped no sooner had I touched the highway. I should have taken the bus, but the uncertainty of getting one had made me decide in the contrary. I stepped out and opened the hood of the car – not because I had the skills to detect or fix whatever was wrong there, but with the sheer hope that some passerby might stop to help, seeing my broken down car.

“Just staring at the engine with your arms behind your back won’t help, buddy. Need a hand?” I heard a voice from behind me. A tall and well-built lad in his mid twenties stood there. He was carrying a huge backpack, and the way he constantly chewed on a gum as he spoke lent him an American accent.

“The darn car won’t move. Do you mind pushing it a bit as I try to get the engine started?” I put forth my request.

“Why not,” said he and shoved his backpack into my car. “A man needs to pamper his car like a girlfriend, which you obviously haven’t been doing.”

“It’s a rented car,” I said irately.

"Oh! So she's not your girlfriend. That gives you all the more reason to pamper her" he added stroking the roof of the car with an affectionate expression.

I did not smile.

Immediately he rolled up his sleeves, stepped behind the car and gave me the thumbs up sign. After putting in a lot of sweat and patience, we finally managed to get the car started.

As I thanked the stranger who helped me, I noticed that although he looked like a traveler but he did not have any vehicle of his own. “Where are you off to?” I asked.

“Pune. I was hoping to get a bus from the next bus stop on this highway,” he said pointing towards the road ahead. “Can you please drop me there?”

“Hop in dude! I am going to Pune too, and I can do with some company for the road.”

So that is how I ended up in the current situation that I was in.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It usually takes a little less than four hours to drive from Shrivardhan to Pune. But taking into account the upcoming combat between the rickety car I was driving and the mountainous terrains, I was expecting us to conclude the entire journey in roughly five hours. The initial two hours passed by pretty uneventfully during which Ankur told me a lot about himself. I did not grasp much of what he was saying, apart from his name and the fact that he was a stand-up comedy artist who juggled his time between Mumbai and Pune.
No wonder he was such a chatterbox! But one good thing that came out of his constant blabbering was that it prevented me from dozing off.

“Would you like to drive for an hour?” I interrupted him with the sole intention of grabbing a brief nap.

Thankfully he agreed. But my plan of dozing off fell flat on its face, as the chatterbox in Ankur did not take a back seat even after I handed him the control of the steering wheel.

“So what’s your story?” Ankur asked as we whizzed past a small tea shop before I could tell him to stop. I didn’t mind having a cup of tea and something to eat. It had been many hours since I had had my last meal.

“Story... what do you mean?”

“Are you usually so grim and quiet?” Ankur reiterated his question.

Seeing a small restaurant I signaled Ankur to stop the car, and this time he applied the brakes just in time. As Ankur parked the car I thanked my stars for finding an excuse to dodge his question, and getting access to some grub at last. As we entered the roadside restaurant, Ankur’s phone rang.

“Please order a sandwich and coffee for me. I’ll attend to this call and join you,” said he before picking up the call.

There was a huge list of items in the menu card but the attendant shook his head against every option I asked for.

“Sahab, you’ll only get vada-pav and poha at this moment,” he said after listening to me patiently for a while. Irately I ordered poha and tea for us.

“Will that be all, sahib?”

My scornful look drove him away.

Ankur arrived at the table after five minutes, and so did our food.

“I asked for sandwich,” said Ankur peeking into the tray as it was being placed on our table. I repeated my scornful look for Ankur and he got the message.

“Ditch the sandwich,” he said. “I need a favor from you.”

I looked enquiringly.

“My very close college friend from Mumbai, who’s an assistant director, is in Lavasa today for a film shooting session. Can we divert from our route a bit, as I would really like to meet him?”

“A bit?” I exclaimed. “That’s almost an hour off track!”

“Please... please...” Ankur pleaded. “It’s a Sunday today, and we’ll reach Pune well before sun down.”
I desperately wanted to enter my house as soon as possible and hit the bed, so tired was I. But I gave in to his request.

The truth is, the prospect of meeting a movie unit excited me.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

With the sun in its scorching best, March is not the ideal time to visit Lavasa. In fact it isn’t the ideal time to step out of one’s house in the first place. The drive to Lavasa was quicker than what we had anticipated, thanks to the almost nil traffic.

I was the one driving in this leg of our journey, and Ankur directed me towards the lake beside which we could see the set up of a film unit. Parking the car at a distance from the nearest tent, we walked towards the unit.

“There you are, you bugger,” screamed the guy wearing a red cap and came running up to us. Ankur and his friend took a while to catch up before I was introduced to the assistant director.

After we exchanged greetings, I was seated under a huge umbrella with a spot boy being called over to serve me snacks and drinks, which I readily accepted. Sipping from my glass of lemon soda I admired the picturesque view of the lake as Ankur and his friend chatted up at a distance. I tried my best to locate the actors but, to my disappointment, failed to spot any recognizable face.

“Sandy has a proposal for you.” I did not notice when Ankur had walked up to me. His friend was standing next to him. I looked towards Sandy, the assistant director.

“Let me get to the point...” started Sandy. “We have to shoot the next sequence in fifteen minutes and for that we need an old, tattered Maruti 800. We had fetched one from the garage and dented it to look real, but after our director saw your car, he feels that it fits the bill better!”

“But how long will that take?” was my instant reaction.

“It may take a while,” Sandy stated apologetically. “But please do not worry... we will make arrangements for your stay in the best suite of the lakeside hotel.”

That sounded tempting. What sounded more tempting was when he added, “We’ll also pay you fifteen thousand rupees as a fee for using your car.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As I relaxed in the bathtub of my suite, Mr. Gaikwad, the resort owner called, “I hope you have reached Pune safely, sir. I would like to apologize yet again for not being able to arrange a better transportation for you.”

“You couldn’t have possibly found a better car, Mr. Gaikwad because you got me the best,” I said with a smile. “Please do me a favor, will you? I will wire transfer fifteen thousand rupees to your account tomorrow... please give it to the owner of the car with my compliments when you return the car to him.”

There was a moment of silence from the other end of the call. After about half a minute, I heard Mr. Gaikwad's voice, “You’ve got to be kidding me, sir! Was the car so good?”

“Let’s just say that it smelt great, and that made my road trip just perfect!” I said with a smirk.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Thursday, January 24, 2013

SUBUcasms

Incidents from my daily life, cited with a pinch of salt (shared by me on Facebook over the years...)

Wah re Indian TV censorship! Leonard has to restrict himself by describing Sheldon's comic-con costume as 'kick***', but it is perfectly okay for Fast Track to scream 'move your ass' in a completely out-of-context advertisement.
30 Jun 2013

Smart move by Vidya Balan in Ghanchakkar! By playing the role of a woman with a weird (read bad) sense of dressing, she has silenced the fashion police this time ;)
25 Jun 2013

...just saw the trailer of Policegiri! The judge who decided to delay Sanjay Dutt's imprisonment to let him complete this movie should also be put behind bars.
15 Jun 2013

When my wife's driving the car, I don't get to sit on the back seat...The atheist in me does!
11 June 2013

Dear Mr. Neighbour! Haven't you heard the story about the boy who cried wolf? Nobody's going to believe your freaking car alarm when the thieve actually strikes...
5 Feb 2013

Yes, I want only one chicken burger! Extra cheese - no thank you! No, I don't want fries with it! Thank you, but I wouldn't like to have anything to drink along with my burger! Seriously, I am not interested to know about your combo-deal! Yes, I will eat it here! No, I do not have five rupees' change!
Heck, my wife asks lesser questions when I return home late at times.
2 Feb 2013

...while channel surfing this morning, I stumbled upon the Benny Hinn show. After preaching the audience 'to stop worrying about physical appearances and focus on one's soul', he went on to sell the bible with 'an attractive leather cover'!!!
17 Oct 2012

The fuming driver stepped out and held the biker, who had barely brushed against his car, by the collar. As the argument heated up, a smiley-card dangling from the car's rear-view mirror caught my attention - one side read 'LOVE' and the other 'PEACE'.
22 Sep 2012

Tricky question: "Does this dress look good on me?"
Trickier question: "Is this dress better than the previous one I tried?"
Killer question: "You aren't even looking! Tell me... what was the color of the last dress I showed you?"
4 Jul 2012

"What's all this fuss about antioxidants! If it's so important, why wasn't it part of the Balanced Diet / Nutrition chapter in your primary school book?" the old lady sitting at the table beside mine exclaimed. I silently put aside my cup of green tea...
17 Jun 2012

good news: ...so many choices :)
bad news: ...the darned 2 liter limit :(
17 Mar 2012

Scene: Finale class of the Shiamak dance school happening inside the aerobics-room of my gym. Small kids putting up a fine performance in front of their parents...
Sad part: 90% of the audience is watching the performance thru the small screen of their mobile phones while recording!
Sadder part: I too miss the performance as I get busy updating this status on FB!
Damn! I hate gadgets!!!
3 Mar 2012

...while watching a soap opera on Star Plus (plz don't judge me) with my wife, the (innocent) heroine, Kavya is slapped by her mother-in-law (who else?), and poor she falls face down on the floor (a shot which is shown repeatedly 3 times).
My wife turns towards me and exclaims, "Did you see that!?"
I nod my head in sympathy...
"...Kavya is wearing exactly the same ear-rings which I had bought from Delhi last week," my wife concludes!
26 Feb 2012

A busy crossing... I'm waiting behind a Maruti A-star to get to cross over to the opposite side of the street...
Suddenly the vehicle ahead of me starts rolling back... I honk! ...it keeps approaching my car... I honk again! No amount of honking manages to stop the bumpers of our cars from eventually meeting!!!!
"Oops! I turned the rear-view mirror towards my face, and got busy in applying lipstick. Hence I failed to notice that my car was moving," SHE explained matter-of-factly...
22 Feb 2012

Conclusion I derived after observing my relatives during my bro's wedding: we Bongs are 'distinctively crazy'!
Each one of us eats till he/she lets out a loud burp, and every meal is followed by a generous dose of Digene. And to shield against the harsh 'dilli ki sardi' everybody turned to the classic Boroline and mufflers, monkey caps (no, these items aren't extinct yet) ;)
19 Feb 2012

...lesson learnt! While having dinner, one shouldn't ask for an extra helping when he is drunk.
I did something unforgivable last night... asked for 'one more julab gamun' sitting amidst 45 relatives :(
18 Feb 2012

finally I caught up on my sleep! ...at the theater ...while watching 'ek maiy aur ek tu'!
13 Feb 2012

You know it's a national holiday when one TV channel is showing Border, another Gadar to be followed by Gandhi and the prime time is blocked for Manoj Kumar movies!
Sigh... definitely not an apt day to laze at home watching TV :(
26 Jan 2012

...one of those days when I was caught in a conflict between my head and my heart. I listened to my wife!
15 Jan 2012

One of those days when the heart feels "TGIF", but the calendar says "SHIT" (Sorry Honey It's Thursday)...
12 Jan 2012

So, what's the final verdict? Is the world coming to an end in 2012?
I need an answer quick - before the last date to plan my investments draws near...
2 Jan 2012

Sheer casting error in in MI4! Why did they choose Anil Kapoor for that role, when Shakti Kapoor would have been a perfect fit :P
22 Dec 2011

The two dreaded words are all set to screw up my Saturday night ...
DRY DAY :(
2 Oct 2010