“God knows when our misery will get over…” my wife stated. Hearing this I knew that her cribbing session had been triggered off. She had not even entered home – in fact she still had her finger placed on the doorbell switch. I could make out that she has had a grueling session at her office today. And I, without a job during this so called ‘Recession’ period, maintained my position at the door, continuing to hold it open for her.
“Suchi, please do not begin with the narration about our wretched lives now.” I tried to dodge the topic and the subsequent conversation which it was heading towards. “Come in first… I have prepared coffee for us. Let’s enjoy that for the moment and then we can discuss our problems over dinner,“ I added.
“Did you get any calls today?” Suchi continued as she entered through the door, completely ignoring my advice.
“Yes, I did get a couple of calls.” I replied.
“And?” Suchi looked at me with anticipation.
“Both the jobs expect me to work in night shifts. I turned them down… Can we please have our coffees now?” I was beginning to get irritated. Suchi could make that out and sensibly rushed to the kitchen to get our cups.
= = = = = = = = = = = =
I strolled towards my bean bag, picking up the day’s newspaper before dropping into the sack. Fishing out the Times Ascent – the careers supplement of the newspaper, I tried to re-initiate a hopeless search. This same supplement used to be a thick 16 to 20 pages booklet just three month back, but see what ‘recession’ has done to this indispensable part of our Wednesday mornings! Three years back all the wise men in the world had started blaming everything on the Global Warming. Three years later, today, ‘Global Warming’ has been left far behind by ‘Recession’ in the race to the title of ‘The Biggest Destroyer of Mankind’.
“Here’s your coffee…” Suchi handed the cup to me and snatched the newspaper supplement from my hand. Flipping through the pages of the supplement Suchi muttered, “Don’t worry dear… everything will be okay soon.” Huh… here you go - the depressed comforting the demoralized.
“Excuse me madam… it is you who was cribbing just a minute back,” I retaliated. “I am fine… in fact, I am enjoying my new role as the home-maker to the fullest,” I lied.
“The wonderful coffee made by you does wonders to me, you know,” Suchi winked at me. My coffee sure did transform my wife amazingly. Am I getting good at cooking due to the regular practice that I am getting by sitting at home, or is it a hidden talent that I was born with but remained untapped all these years? Perhaps I should evaluate options in this field as well. In fact the Times Ascent did have a half-page advertisement from Hotel Crowne Plaza.
= = = = = = = = = = = =
“Sweetheart… will you listen to me if I asked you to do a small favor? For me… please…” Suchi brought me back to the real world from my five star hotel’s kitchen in a jiffy.
I looked at her enquiringly…
“You know Mr. Ganesh, right?” Suchi began. Judging by the sweetness in her tone, I was pretty confident that she is going to shoot the weirdest possible request at the unguarded me.
“Mr. Ganesh who?” I replied with a confused look. I knew this chap, Ganesh pretty well. Ganesh was the self-proclaimed astrologer in Suchi’s office, who often gave free unasked-for astrological advise to people in her office.
“Mr. Ganesh, dear… the palmist about who I had told you once. Remember?” Suchi kept away her half-finished cup of coffee and focused all her attention and energy towards reminding me who Ganesh was!
“Oh yes…” I surrendered, unable to hold my pretentious ignorance any longer. “What about Ganesh? What did that rogue say now?” I enquired.
“Hey, he’s not a rogue Aadi!” Suchi’s soft tone changed into a stern one within no time. “Mr. Ganesh is a very good human being. He does social service, and does not charge a single penny for the palm-reading service that he does.” Suchi could go on about this guy; hence I had to meekly stop the argument from my end for peace to prevail in our home that evening.
“Okay, so what favor did you want me to do on you dear?” I asked Suchi, trying to take her away from the topic of Ganesh. Little did I know that the ‘favor’ and Ganesh were linked to each other with super glue.
“I spoke to Mr. Ganesh about the bad phase that we are going through in our lives because of your career which is down in the dumps, and my job insecurity,” Suchi began.
“Thanks for sharing such nice words about me with a stranger,” I taunted Suchi.
“Aadi… Mr. Ganesh is not a stranger.” Suchi replied. “In fact, when I told him that we are facing problems in our lives, he immediately looked at my forehead and told me that he sees my husband’s job-related problems in my life! Can you believe that?” Suchi exclaimed with raised eyebrows.
“I bet he saw all this in his magic ball last night,” I mocked. Suchi wasn’t amused, and continued with her narration nonchalantly. “Then, Mr. Ganesh asked for your date of birth and place of birth from me, and told me that this problem is due to a bad planet in your astrological chart!” Suchi held on to her expression with the raised eyebrows for a longer while this time.
“Oh my god! Now what should I do to kick out this ‘bad planet’?” I scornfully asked Suchi.
“You cannot ‘kick off’ a bad planet Aadi! You will have to ‘appease it by wearing your lucky gem in the little finger of your right hand as per your horoscope,” Suchi did not even blink once while she was uttering these saintly words.
“I don’t believe you Suchi… are you off your mind?!” I screamed. “You know very well that I do not believe in all this baloney,“ I added.
“Please Aadi… listen to me for once. There is no harm in trying…” Suchi debated with me. After a bout of argument between Suchi and me, like any other member of the ‘smart husbands community’, I devised a technique to ward off the topic for the moment.
“Okay… okay… I will get the ring,” I concluded. “Please freshen up now, as only then we can have our dinner!” I added. With these last words, I was sure that I have put an end to the topic – at least for the moment.
“Hey, we need to go to the gem shop right now!” Suchi caught me off guard with this proposal of hers.
“What! You must be kidding!” I exclaimed.
“No, I am not dear… Mr. Ganesh has referred me to a gem shop in our neighborhood. We can go and order for the ring right away,” Suchi responded.
“But why are you in such a hurry to change my luck? I can manage being unemployed for a couple of more days!” I retorted.
“No Aadi, we do not have time. You have to start wearing the ring only on a Thursday – which is tomorrow!” saying this, Suchi grabbed my bike keys and pulled me by my arm out of the house. Within no time we were driving off to the gem shop.
= = = = = = = = = = = =
“That ass Ganesh has even referred my wife to a particular shop! I could bet that the shop pays a heavy commission to Ganesh as referral fees! So much for his ‘free’ social service…” I spoke to myself. However, if wearing a meager ring could keep my wife happy, I have no qualms about the same.
Moreover, I saw myself benefiting if the ring worked, or even if it didn’t.
Option 1: If I would manage to get a job after wearing the ring, I will not be accused of having a career which is ‘down in the dumps’.
Option 2: If I would NOT get a job after wearing the ring (which seemed like the more likely option), then I would prove my point about rogues like Ganesh and the trash called Astrology.
With a silent smile I parked my bike in front of ‘Taraash - A Government Recognized Gem Store’.
“Can you show us a good emerald please?” Suchi dug out a piece of paper from her purse and read out of it to the old man over the counter.
“Sure madam… how many carats?” the old man enquired.
“Six or above,” my wife read out from the piece of paper again. “We need it on a gold ring,” Suchi added.
Now this came as a shock to me. On a ‘Gold’ ring!! I pulled Suchi away from the counter and whispered to her, “Gold! Are you nuts?”
The old man over the counter looked away. I believe my whisper was a little too loud and evidently audible to him. Suchi signaled me to keep quiet and whispered back “Shhh… the emerald will not have any impact on your planets if it is not put on a gold ring… Mr. Ganesh very distinctively mentioned this.”
“Rest assured that Ganesh is in for a lot of trouble if I get to meet him!” I could not control my wrath.
“Please Aadi… shut up and select an emerald for yourself!” saying this Suchi pulled be back to the counter. “Ahem!” she signaled to the old man to attend to us again after our short private meeting.
“The gold ring itself will cost you approximately fifteen thousand rupees! Emerald price extra!” the old man wanted to be sure about our money-spending prowess before he invested any more of his sales skills on us.
“Did you hear that? How many times have I told you to be dressed properly when you come out for shopping?” Suchi whispered to me accompanied with a nudge.
If the price revelation of the gold wasn’t enough to kill me, Suchi’s painful nudge was definitely near-fatal! I looked at my reflection on the glass behind the counter – I did not look too bad in my shorts and the green t-shirt. In fact I even wore matching green sandals. What does this old man know about the latest trends in dressing? To top that, did Suchi give me a chance to even brush my hair before rushing out for gem-shopping? I decided not to waste my near exhausted energies on any other argument for the day.
“Yes… yes… that is not a problem!” Suchi assured the old man in the shop. Only after he got this assurance from Suchi, did he bring out the box containing the gem stones from beneath the counter. The box contained green colored gem stones of various sizes. Fishing out a peanut-sized emerald from the box, he put it on the weighing scale. The digital display read 5.5. He shook his head and fished out a slightly larger stone and placed it on the scale. Scale reading: 6.2 – mission accomplished. Suchi looked at me and smiled with a sense of accomplishment, before nodding to the old man.
The lethargic salesman had completed half his task, and for the rest of the task he keyed in some numbers into the calculator lying at the billing counter. As he was using the calculator, I could hear him mutter some astounding numbers under his breath… “Twenty five thousand… six-point two…”, and the rest of the words were inaudible. But I didn’t have to wait for long before he looked up at us and gave us the verdict. “At the rate of rupees twenty five thousand per carat, the 6.2 carat emerald will cost you rupees one lakh and fifty five thousand only!”, he concluded.
Did he use the suffix ‘only’ for this colossal amount too?
Suchi looked at me in awe. I reciprocated with the exact same look. Oblivious about the whole reaction given by us, the old man continued with his sales pitch, “… and including the gold ring, you will have to pay just rupees one lakh and seventy thousand. Discounted price – especially for you madam.” Saying this he looked at Suchi finally. I suppose the look on Suchi’s face was too revealing, and so was mine – the old man understood our intentions.
“We… We will come back…” Suchi managed to utter these few words before walking me out of the shop. We did not turn back to look at the old man’s face. We did not speak to each other till we reached the place where I had parked my bike.
“It is a little too expensive for us right now… isn’t it Aadi?” Suchi uttered these words to cut the silence that was prevailing between us. ‘Little too expensive’ was an understatement – especially in this situation where we were surviving in only one salary. And the job which was generating this salary wasn’t too secure either – thanks to the catastrophe called ‘recession’. I merely nodded my head to show agreement with my wife’s first sensible thoughts in this evening.
Suddenly I realized that all this while, I had overlooked the possibility of Option 3 – the probability that I might not have to wear the ring altogether. The good news was that Option 3 was in my favor too.
Hallelujah! Finally good things are happening in my life.
Without further ado, we mounted my bike and headed back to our home. My wife’s face had an expression which reminded me of a lost warrior returning from the battlefield. I adjusted the rear-view mirror to look at Suchi’s face and smiled at her. She smiled too, but forcibly.
= = = = = = = = = = = =
We reached home and Suchi set down to prepare dinner while I shifted my bean-bag to the kitchen, and joined her along with my unfinished newspaper. The newspaper was filled with news about major IT companies across the globe downsizing their workforce. I quickly scanned through the initial pages, ignoring any headline that contained the words ‘IT’ or ‘Workforce’ or ‘Unemployment’ or ‘Recession’. At the end of this scan, I was pretty much left with no news to read. That is when a headline caught my eyes which said, “Fifty farmers commit suicide in UP!” I read it aloud for Suchi to hear.
“Oh my gosh!” Suchi exclaimed. “Why on earth did so many people commit suicide at the same time?” she continued as she threw some spices into the crackling pan. I read further to answer Suchi’s query.
I read out the initial paragraph of the article aloud…
“Incidence of farmers ending their lives in the western UP region has hit epidemic proportions. Since a long time, Indian farmers have been facing a number of socioeconomic problems, such as harassment by moneylenders, inability to repay debts following crop loss, inability to get medical treatment for the family, etc. The problem is compounded by lack of positive and cooperative support from banks especially in the face of inclement weather and market fluctuations…”
I paused and looked at Suchi. She looked back at me with an expression that questioned me, “What?”
“I am just wondering if that wizard Mr. Ganesh and other astrologers like him could have prescribed some stones which could have saved the lives of these farmers.” I said.
Suchi looked away and said, “Aadi… stop being sarcastic! I am sure that astrology does have some positive impact on people’s lives. Otherwise how do you explain the large number followers of this science?”
Suchi could not convince me. Nonetheless, I did not argue further and continued reading the article with thoughts about this ‘vicious circle’ swarming across my mind. If those poor farmers could afford such expensive gem stones to turn their luck – would they even be in this misery to begin with? In fact, any human who can afford the near two lakhs rupees worth of good-luck charm for oneself, doesn’t seem to be in a too bad state.
Look at me - The problem for me is that I do not have a job, and hence no money. And the incredibly intelligent astrological solution to my problem is ‘Spend a huge sum of money on an emerald!’ Ridiculing this so called ‘science’, I put aside the newspaper and moved out of the kitchen to ease my mind.
= = = = = = = = = = = =
“Aadi, if you are going inside to watch TV, could you please see if ‘The Cooking Show’ has begun on NDTV? It is almost time,” said Suchi as soon as she saw me walking out. My wife had developed this new-found interest in cooking shows. Sadly, the knowledge gained from such shows was seldom put into practice within the premises of our kitchen.
“Sure,” I yelled back.
Brushing aside all thoughts about astrology, emeralds and jobs, I slouched on the bed and switched on Cartoon Network. Like every time, I turned to Tom and Jerry for refreshing my thoughts.
“Aadiiiii… could you switch to NDTV please…” yelled my wife from the kitchen. Needless to say, I had to use the remote control immediately against my wishes.
NDTV it was. The program information read ‘Teleshopping Commercial’. My wife’s program was due in five minutes; hence I decided to switch back to Tom and Jerry. Nonetheless before touching the remote, I yelled back to Suchi to safeguard myself from any further yelling, “Your program will begin after five minutes…”
As I picked up the remote, I saw an ugly old man dressed like a priest blabbering some scholarly stuff endlessly. Although whatever met my eyes was very repelling, but what met my ears caught my attention. “… and to ward off evil energies caused by your planetary positions, we bring for you this Zodiac Device,” saying this, the old man held up a small golden pyramid.
“Placing this Zodiac Device at the east-most corner of your house will bring success and money at your doorsteps!” he continued.
Further he added, “Along with this 22 carat gold Device you will get a gold plated pendant as per your Zodiac sign absolutely free! And all this comes to you at the price of only rupees thirty thousand…”
AAAAARRRRGHHHHHH!!! I switched off the TV.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
… to "BA" or not to "BY"
“It's been more than three years that we've been married… don’t you think that we should plan for a baby now?” My wife had just drawn the curtains open, and as soon as the first ray of sunlight forced it's way into my eyes, she shot this question at me.
“What! Are you crazy?” I tried to bring her back to her senses.
“Aadi… I am serious,” she replied. “I will be 27 years old this December and mom was saying…”
Oh no! Did she say those three dreaded words - “mom was saying”?
I looked at the wall clock. The time was quarter to eight. When on earth did she speak to her mom?
“Aadi, could you at least not look away from me when I am speaking to you?”
“Suchi, I can hear you from a mile when you are shouting like that. I don't need to look at you!” And, saying this I realized that I had ruined all chances of sinking my teeth into the yummy sausages I could smell being fried in the kitchen.
Suchi looked at me in awe. Immediately I changed my tone to a softer scale.
“Okay dear… I am sorry.” Anything to get a last shot at those sausages. “What was my dear mom-in-law saying?”
“Stop ridiculing my mom! Anyways, she was saying that both of us are approaching 30, and we should plan a baby before it is too late!”
“What does she mean by saying ‘before it is too late’? Just yesterday I read a news about some 70-year old lady giving birth to twins!” saying this I jumped up on my feet and headed towards the bundle of old newspaper to dig out the last day’s edition. When you are having a debate with your wife, it is always advisable to be armed with supporting evidences.
“I was trying to have a serious conversation with you, Aadi. God knows when you will grow up!” uttering these famous last words, which virtually translates to “You are an ass and I win this fight’, Suchi left the room.
I did not try to stop her. I was engrossed in fishing out the article from the newspaper. Peevishly as I rampaged through its pages, the magical headlines appeared before my eyes: ‘World's oldest mother gives birth to twins at 70’. Further down in the article it also mentioned that the husband was 77 years old.
Eureka! I rushed to the kitchen with this article.
“But mom also said that Khanna Aunty’s daughter, Anu got married earlier this year and she is already two-months pregnant!” Suchi murmured as soon as I had put my first step outside the kitchen.
“What!” I turned back immediately. “Didn’t Anu marry that ICICI Branch Manager, Rohan just three months back?” I reconfirmed.
“Yes, and Anu is already pregnant. And to add to that, she is three years younger to me!” Suchi added. I knew from her dialogues that all this has been downloaded into her brain by my mother-in-law early in the morning today.
“Mom also said that all the other aunties ask her questions about why we do not have a kid as of yet!” Now it was even more evident that when I was sleeping, that old lady was brainwashing my helpless and innocent wife.
“Suchi!” I started. “We are not answerable to or competing with anybody here… please!” I expressed my firm stand. “What was Rohan thinking? I mean is marriage done only to reproduce! Whatever happened to the concepts of protected sex!” I felt that I could place a big punch on Rohan’s face right away if I found him in accessible distance.
“Aadi… please! Let us not discuss about other people’s personal decisions. What Rohan and Anu do is none of our business!” Suchi tried to cut out the topic.
“Exactly! And what we do is not anybody else’s business too…” I said and walked off.
= = = = = = =
I was totally pissed off by now. I was angrier on these aunties spread across the world who could not ever mind their own business. No, perhaps I was angrier on these Rohans in this world who could not keep their testosterones under control for even a moment! Screw all!
I picked the morning’s newspaper and crashed down on my bean bag. The headlines were of no interest today. Let me jump to the sports section. On second thoughts, I should read the whole newspaper carefully. Just because I had read the last day’s newspaper so profusely, could I win today’s argument, isn’t it?
= = = = = = =
With mixed thoughts and anger, as I was trying to drown myself into the newspaper, I felt Suchi’s soft hands wrap around me from behind.
“I am sorry baby,” she whispered into my years. “I did not mean to make you upset.”
“Hmm… “ I said. Although that warm touch and those loving words from Suchi was enough to make me smile, but still I felt that I could get some more pampering from her by acting a bit difficult.
“I promise that I will never take out this topic about having a baby ever again until you are comfortable about it,” Suchi said. “For the time being I am happy taking care of this one baby of mine,” saying this she planted a kiss on my cheek.
I could not hold on to my fake attitude any longer. “I am sorry too dear,” I said. Putting aside the newspaper I added, “Since you are so good to me, I too will at least give a thought about this topic of having a baby,” I promised. Suchi smiled back.
“Now please get ready quickly… we are both getting late for office,” Suchi brought me back to the real moment. “Your breakfast is on the table Aadi!” saying this she went off to get ready.
I too quickly gulped down my grub and got dressed for office in a jiffy.
“Bye dear. See you in the evening,” we wished each other, and in no time we ran off to the parking lot to set off in our respective vehicles.
= = = = = = =
“Whoa… what a beginning to the day!” I thought aloud as I drove my bike. However, the part to worry about was that the loving words at the end from my wife had set me thinking on the path which I would otherwise never even dream of treading upon.
“Am I ready to have another member in our family yet?” I asked myself. Why not? I mean most of my office colleagues who are of my age have kids in kindergarten already. Does that mean that I am the only exception? Do I not have the balls to get a baby to this world?
But even if we have a baby, will Suchi leave her job and take care of the kid? Oh my god! That is even worse, as it will mean that our collective salary becomes half! To hell with people who raise a question at me or my masculinity, I surely don’t have the guts to take care of a baby with a single salary. And if we too get a twin like that 70 plus year old couple – we will surely be dead!
With these thoughts haunting my mind, I brought my bike to a screeching halt, just two inches behind the bumper of the car in front of me. I did not notice the red light at the traffic signal.
“Aadi dear… please keep your eyes on the road if you would like to have a baby EVER IN YOUR LIFE!” I explained to myself. I closed my eyes to gather myself. As soon as I closed my eyes, I heard the giggle of a baby right behind me. Oh no… am I imagining things?
I opened my eyes and adjusted the rear view mirror of my bike to catch a glimpse of the source of that pleasant sound. Yes, there as a baby boy sitting in front of his dad on the bike behind me. He was chirping sweet nothings to his dad and his dad seemed too happy to be true. Wow, that sure was a beautiful sight. Perhaps I did not see this positive side of this whole experience since morning. I think I want to be a happy dad too…
= = = = = = =
No sooner had I convinced myself about at least one good thing about having a baby, the kid behind me let off a sneeze. His face was still clearly visible on my rear view mirror and I could clearly see the thick light greenish yellow liquid that dropped out of his nose and kept hanging there.
As if my level of disgust had not already touched its peak, the kid wiped his nose with his hand smearing the yucky viscous liquid on his face. The dad, oblivious of this whole act, kept on laughing and talking to the baby, and within seconds all I could focus on in my mirror was the mucus colored face of this baby which looked oh-so-cute just a moment ago.
The traffic light turned green, I put my bike in the first gear and zoomed off instantly – leaving behind me that baby, his dad and any plans of having a baby of my own for the next hundred years…
= = = = = = =
“What! Are you crazy?” I tried to bring her back to her senses.
“Aadi… I am serious,” she replied. “I will be 27 years old this December and mom was saying…”
Oh no! Did she say those three dreaded words - “mom was saying”?
I looked at the wall clock. The time was quarter to eight. When on earth did she speak to her mom?
“Aadi, could you at least not look away from me when I am speaking to you?”
“Suchi, I can hear you from a mile when you are shouting like that. I don't need to look at you!” And, saying this I realized that I had ruined all chances of sinking my teeth into the yummy sausages I could smell being fried in the kitchen.
Suchi looked at me in awe. Immediately I changed my tone to a softer scale.
“Okay dear… I am sorry.” Anything to get a last shot at those sausages. “What was my dear mom-in-law saying?”
“Stop ridiculing my mom! Anyways, she was saying that both of us are approaching 30, and we should plan a baby before it is too late!”
“What does she mean by saying ‘before it is too late’? Just yesterday I read a news about some 70-year old lady giving birth to twins!” saying this I jumped up on my feet and headed towards the bundle of old newspaper to dig out the last day’s edition. When you are having a debate with your wife, it is always advisable to be armed with supporting evidences.
“I was trying to have a serious conversation with you, Aadi. God knows when you will grow up!” uttering these famous last words, which virtually translates to “You are an ass and I win this fight’, Suchi left the room.
I did not try to stop her. I was engrossed in fishing out the article from the newspaper. Peevishly as I rampaged through its pages, the magical headlines appeared before my eyes: ‘World's oldest mother gives birth to twins at 70’. Further down in the article it also mentioned that the husband was 77 years old.
Eureka! I rushed to the kitchen with this article.
“Suchi, look here… read this article.”
“I am not interested. And, I am getting late for work.”
“Just take a look at the title of this article.”
“Okay. Okay. I get your point…” Suchi replied.
“Okay. Okay. I get your point…” Suchi replied.
With a victorious smile on my face, I folded the newspaper and turned back to go to my room.
* * *
“But mom also said that Khanna Aunty’s daughter, Anu got married earlier this year and she is already two-months pregnant!” Suchi murmured as soon as I had put my first step outside the kitchen.
“What!” I turned back immediately. “Didn’t Anu marry that ICICI Branch Manager, Rohan just three months back?” I reconfirmed.
“Yes, and Anu is already pregnant. And to add to that, she is three years younger to me!” Suchi added. I knew from her dialogues that all this has been downloaded into her brain by my mother-in-law early in the morning today.
“Mom also said that all the other aunties ask her questions about why we do not have a kid as of yet!” Now it was even more evident that when I was sleeping, that old lady was brainwashing my helpless and innocent wife.
“Suchi!” I started. “We are not answerable to or competing with anybody here… please!” I expressed my firm stand. “What was Rohan thinking? I mean is marriage done only to reproduce! Whatever happened to the concepts of protected sex!” I felt that I could place a big punch on Rohan’s face right away if I found him in accessible distance.
“Aadi… please! Let us not discuss about other people’s personal decisions. What Rohan and Anu do is none of our business!” Suchi tried to cut out the topic.
“Exactly! And what we do is not anybody else’s business too…” I said and walked off.
= = = = = = =
I was totally pissed off by now. I was angrier on these aunties spread across the world who could not ever mind their own business. No, perhaps I was angrier on these Rohans in this world who could not keep their testosterones under control for even a moment! Screw all!
I picked the morning’s newspaper and crashed down on my bean bag. The headlines were of no interest today. Let me jump to the sports section. On second thoughts, I should read the whole newspaper carefully. Just because I had read the last day’s newspaper so profusely, could I win today’s argument, isn’t it?
= = = = = = =
With mixed thoughts and anger, as I was trying to drown myself into the newspaper, I felt Suchi’s soft hands wrap around me from behind.
“I am sorry baby,” she whispered into my years. “I did not mean to make you upset.”
“Hmm… “ I said. Although that warm touch and those loving words from Suchi was enough to make me smile, but still I felt that I could get some more pampering from her by acting a bit difficult.
“I promise that I will never take out this topic about having a baby ever again until you are comfortable about it,” Suchi said. “For the time being I am happy taking care of this one baby of mine,” saying this she planted a kiss on my cheek.
I could not hold on to my fake attitude any longer. “I am sorry too dear,” I said. Putting aside the newspaper I added, “Since you are so good to me, I too will at least give a thought about this topic of having a baby,” I promised. Suchi smiled back.
“Now please get ready quickly… we are both getting late for office,” Suchi brought me back to the real moment. “Your breakfast is on the table Aadi!” saying this she went off to get ready.
I too quickly gulped down my grub and got dressed for office in a jiffy.
“Bye dear. See you in the evening,” we wished each other, and in no time we ran off to the parking lot to set off in our respective vehicles.
= = = = = = =
“Whoa… what a beginning to the day!” I thought aloud as I drove my bike. However, the part to worry about was that the loving words at the end from my wife had set me thinking on the path which I would otherwise never even dream of treading upon.
“Am I ready to have another member in our family yet?” I asked myself. Why not? I mean most of my office colleagues who are of my age have kids in kindergarten already. Does that mean that I am the only exception? Do I not have the balls to get a baby to this world?
But even if we have a baby, will Suchi leave her job and take care of the kid? Oh my god! That is even worse, as it will mean that our collective salary becomes half! To hell with people who raise a question at me or my masculinity, I surely don’t have the guts to take care of a baby with a single salary. And if we too get a twin like that 70 plus year old couple – we will surely be dead!
With these thoughts haunting my mind, I brought my bike to a screeching halt, just two inches behind the bumper of the car in front of me. I did not notice the red light at the traffic signal.
“Aadi dear… please keep your eyes on the road if you would like to have a baby EVER IN YOUR LIFE!” I explained to myself. I closed my eyes to gather myself. As soon as I closed my eyes, I heard the giggle of a baby right behind me. Oh no… am I imagining things?
I opened my eyes and adjusted the rear view mirror of my bike to catch a glimpse of the source of that pleasant sound. Yes, there as a baby boy sitting in front of his dad on the bike behind me. He was chirping sweet nothings to his dad and his dad seemed too happy to be true. Wow, that sure was a beautiful sight. Perhaps I did not see this positive side of this whole experience since morning. I think I want to be a happy dad too…
= = = = = = =
No sooner had I convinced myself about at least one good thing about having a baby, the kid behind me let off a sneeze. His face was still clearly visible on my rear view mirror and I could clearly see the thick light greenish yellow liquid that dropped out of his nose and kept hanging there.
As if my level of disgust had not already touched its peak, the kid wiped his nose with his hand smearing the yucky viscous liquid on his face. The dad, oblivious of this whole act, kept on laughing and talking to the baby, and within seconds all I could focus on in my mirror was the mucus colored face of this baby which looked oh-so-cute just a moment ago.
The traffic light turned green, I put my bike in the first gear and zoomed off instantly – leaving behind me that baby, his dad and any plans of having a baby of my own for the next hundred years…
= = = = = = =
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
• Behind bars… well almost!
The phone rings…
I am too cozy inside my rug to get up and attend the call. I stretch out for my life saver of the hour – my pillow. Pulling it up over my head, I manage to subdue the noise…
Zzzzzzz…….
Beep Beep… Beep Beep…
Now it’s the turn of the notorious alarm clock. Even the pillow over my head fails to drown the shrilling blare. I have to give up.
Pulling myself out of the rug, I somehow manage to shut the darn thing off, but by then the phone starts ringing again.
“Good morning sir… this is your wake up call for 9 AM. We have been trying to wake you up since an hour now. Have a great day!”
Gosh! It is already quarter past 10… Sam and Jose would kill me.
No they won’t kill me, they aren’t that bad. But I am sure they are in the middle of their breakfast at this moment and by the time I reach, the breakfast service would have ended!! Now that is even worse than getting killed by Sam and Jose!
I quickly enter the toilet… Sitting there I start contemplating about ways in which I could at the least grab an omelet from the restaurant. Brushing my teeth and shaving are two tasks which I could do without at this critical situation. That leaves me with just one task – getting dressed!
* * *
This is where I will eclipse my toilet exploits for a while and throw some light on some more important information. If you are wondering, where I am at this moment, I am in a hotel at a country in Middle East with my team for business.
“Business” – That is what we “sales folks” term anything and everything that we do at work. We travel for “business” trips, attend “business” meetings. Even our visas are known as “business” visas and sometimes if we get lucky, we even travel “business” class. So now that I have explained the importance of this word in our lives, I will continue with my story. After a long and hectic conference in the country, today was Friday – the weekend of the Middle East. From tomorrow we begin our series of “business” meetings.
It is very rare for us to get some time for ourselves during our business trip, so Sam and Jose had left no stone unturned to make this day as eventful as possible. That explains the 10:30 AM deadline, when we are to set out of the hotel for the biggest shopping center in the city.
The agenda? Shopping, movies and eating out.
Eating out… phew!! If ever I am travelling to a foreign country with Sam, it is always turns out to be a herculean task to get food at the right time. Sam’s fervor for Indian food always results in us roaming endlessly in unchartered territories. However, the end result always makes it up for the effort put in, as I too am not too fond of cold sandwiches and near-raw meat that are usually served at most places abroad.
* * *
Now back to my toilet saga…
I look down… the shorts that I am wearing seem good enough for the outing that we have planned for today. Looking further down I conclude that the sandals aren’t bad either. All I need to do now is wash, flush and rush – which I finish off in no time. On my way out I quickly grab my green t-shirt, and try to slither it over my head – and this is when my left foot gets caught in the carpet and I come crashing down – BANG!!
“Little do I realize at this time that this is the supernatural power in action, which is trying to give me a not-so subtle hint about something being absolutely not right.”
I rise unperturbed and rush to the restaurant.
* * *
It is already 10:25 AM when I reach the restaurant. The welcome board yells out at me, “Breakfast: 6:30 AM to 10:30 AM”. I mock at the board and rush to the omelet counter.
As I am about to place my order, a voice booms out from over my shoulder, “four egg whites, with salt onion and pepper… and yes, cooked well from both sides”. Hey that’s exactly what I want. I turn back to see Jose smiling at me. “Sir, this order is already set for you at the table…” saying this he points towards Sam, who is waving at me from the corner table.
“Good morning Aadi”, says Sam as I pull up my chair at the table. I could see that Jose had already finished his continental breakfast and was just left with some coffee. Sam cleans his plate by taking the last bite of his French toast.
“You can do a huge favor on us by just managing with this omelet today bro…” Sam tells me. Although he puts it as a request to me but I know Sam means business. “The least you could have done is shaved before coming down for breakfast…” Sam’s mocking continues.
* * *
Till the time I think of giving back a good answer to Sam, let me give you his brief introduction. Sam, the sales head of our group, is the boss of Jose and me. Sales is his life and in every part of his life.
His goal? - To make every member of his team the best sales person in this world.
Since the last one year, ever since he has hired me, Sam has been on his toes to make me presentable as a valuable member of the ‘Sales fraternity’; however some nuts like me are difficult to crack. Although in my defense I can say that I have modified myself a lot – from being the torn-jeans-n-slippers lad from the city, I have now become a so-called high-flying executive who wears suits for most of his day-time activities and shirts with cufflinks for his sun-down engagements. I have even sacrificed my long tresses for this job and my ambition to get a tattoo on my right arm seems like a distant dream now.
However, underneath this strict and no-nonsense shell of Sam lies a caring elder brother who makes sure that even the roughest weathers pass through him before touching his team.
* * *
“Come on Sam… it is the weekend today,” I say. “And moreover, I had shaved last night only…” I add.
“Then you better do something about your hyper-active hormones Aadi, that cause your facial hair to grow back so fast,” Sam strikes back.
I am stubborn, but I am not stupid. I know when to shut up during an argument – especially when there seems to be no chance of the decision going in my favor. I silently set out to finish my breakfast – if you can call that a breakfast.
* * *
“I have called the taxi and it is waiting for us outside the hotel,” Jose declares with a glance at his watch. That is typical Jose… always so particular and so perfect. Now that I have mentioned about this guy and since I have some time till we walk up to the taxi, let me take this opportunity to introduce my counterpart, Jose.
Jose is the perfect example of the good boy that we used to have as class-monitors in our schools.
He always wakes up in time in the morning, finishes all his tasks on time, shaves impeccably every day! And his clothes… his clothes are always formal… yes ALWAYS. Even on a weekend, Jose dresses up in a crisp ironed shirt and a pleated trouser. I sometimes wonder if this guy ever gets into his pajamas, or does he sleep in his business suit?
* * *
As we step out in the smoldering heat of the Middle East summers, Jose spots our taxi and runs towards it. This is when Sam slips something into my pocket and walks off. I dig into my pocket to extract a handful of dry fruits and nuts. I shout out to Sam, “Thanks for that…”
He winks at me and says, “I know that omelet won’t be able to sustain you for more than an hour dude… keep munching till I treat you guys to a grand Indian lunch today!” Popping an almond into my mouth, I follow him to the taxi.
“To the City Center,” Jose directs the driver. Each of us gets busy immediately in directing the AC vent towards our faces. Phew! This heat could roast a duck live on the streets…
“Where are you from?” the driver tries to strike a conversation.
“India,” Jose replies.
“Me from Pakistan,” the driver answers an unasked question.
In no time the conversation between the driver and Jose moves on from countries to Indian movies and Indian film stars. Sam chooses to be the silent spectator, while I wonder about the fact that how could the people from Pakistan who we meet abroad be so friendly with us and vice versa. If only our political leaders could take a few tips from us…
Pondering over this thought, I set out on my mission to hog down the dry-fruits given to me by Sam, before anybody else gets into the mood of munching on a few themselves. In no time we reach our destination and incidentally I too finish my extended breakfast.
* * *
As soon as we enter the mall, we look for directions towards the Carrefour. That’s our global favorite supermarket and on it we rely for our small ration of soft drinks and snacks for our stay during the business trips.
After entering Carrefour, Jose asks me to pick up some cold drink for him and strays away to the books section. Sam and I pick up a cart and begin our shopping expedition. An interesting thing to be pointed out at this moment is that both Sam and I are born shopaholics, and when it comes to this activity we can even put the female of our species to shame. After picking up the regular wafers, biscuits, juices, cold drinks and some chewing gum, we move towards the toys section.
“Why don’t you spend time at a section of your choice, while I pick up some toys for my daughter,” says Sam he adds.
I like the idea as I have pretty much no interest in the toys section.
“Okay then… Catch up with me at the electronics section,” saying this I move on.
* * *
I start looking for directions to the electronics section. That is when I notice a guy staring at my t-shirt with awe. By his attire I can make out that he is a resident of this country. I smile at him and move on…
As I pass by the clothes section, I walk past a mirror. Taking a few steps back I look at myself on the mirror and check if there is something on my t-shirt to attract attention. No… there isn’t.
My gaze travels to the background in the mirror… Oh my God! I see the same guy approaching me from a distance. I start contemplating what might the guy’s intentions be!
“Oh ok… now I understand things a bit clearly,” I explain to myself.
“After ages I have been working out in the gym during this long stay at the hotel. This short stint at the gym might have chiseled out my muscular body from my college body-building days…” I assume. “Moreover, this body-hugging t-shirt fails to be as modest as I am about my well puffed biceps…”
And I have read a lot about homosexuality being openly accepted in countries outside India. With this instance, things start falling into place. However, since my preferences are totally different from this guy’s, this situation calls for an SOS. I take bigger steps towards the electronics section now. On the way I pick up the cold drinks for Jose.
I am sure that the guy must have given up by now. Dropping the cold-drink cans in a cart, I push it towards the sign displaying “Computer Peripherals”.
There is a Sony external hard disk which I have been eyeing since a long while… let me find out if I can afford it with my savings this time.
Little did I know that I had heaved my sigh of relief a little too soon.
“Excuse me Mister!!” a voice booms from behind my back. I turn around and to my horror see the same guy approaching me. This fellow seems to be really desperate to get me.
I ignore his callout and rush towards the toy section. There I see Sam and Jose from a distance and rush to them in no time. Phew… now I am not alone.
“Hey Mister… I think you not hear me! I asking you to stop for so long!” the guy steps in right between me and my colleagues.
* * *
I tell myself, “it is all right Aadi… this man wouldn’t molest you in a public place.” I try all means to pacify myself. I can talk it out and explain to this guy that although I respect his thoughts and inclinations but I wouldn’t be interested in him.
“What’s wrong?” Sam comes out from behind this man. Jose is with him.
“Is he your friend?” the guy asks Sam pointing his finger at me.
“Yes, he is… why do you ask?” Sam retorts.
“Mister… your friend needs to take off his t-shirt RIGHT NOW… else I call the police!” the guy replies.
My jaw drops. I was 100% correct about this guy’s intentions. By now I start believing more in my super powers to judge people – just by looking at a person I can grasp what he is thinking about in no time. However, what bugs me at this situation is how can this guy threaten me so openly?!?
“And may I ask why?” Sam enquires.
“Because in our country alcohol is UNACCEPTABLE… and your friend is wearing a Heineken t-shirt,” he snaps back.
* * *
“What!” Sam, Jose and I gasp in unison.
“Buddy… my friend here is just wearing a Heineken t-shirt… he’s not drinking in public,” Jose tries to play the role of my advocate. Sam nods in agreement.
“I say take off t-shirt or I call police…” the guy adamantly stands by his words.
Finding my friends beside me, I too gather some courage.
“Yes Mister, I am not taking off this t-shirt… do whatever you want to do!” I find my lost voice.
“Oh is it? You are in deep trouble mister… deep trouble!” saying this he walks off.
I feel that I have scared away the idiot. My confidence melts down in no time when Jose whispers to me, “Aadi, I hope we haven’t taken a wrong step by messing around like this in an unknown territory!”
I try to shrug of my fear by saying, “No way Jose… what on earth can that guy do to us?” As soon as I complete my statement, I see the guy returning with two sturdy police men by his sides.
That is enough for my bravery… I look around, spot the nearest sign to the toilet, and flee from the ‘scene of crime’ in a jiffy. I did not see behind me but am sure that close on my heels are Sam and Jose.
* * *
Crashing into the toilet I heave a sigh of relief. Having taken such a twisted and turned path, I am sure that the two overweight policemen and the guy could never have chased me.
I look at my t-shirt in the mirror. Sam and Jose too stare from behind me.
“Take off the darn t-shirt”, Sam says. “You can be in your vest,” he adds.
“If only I would have worn a vest today!” I think out aloud.
“What!” Sam and Jose cry in chorus now. We all are getting better in this skill of exclaiming in accord.
Sam stares at me in fury. I am sure that if the local law doesn’t prosecute me for WEARING the Heineken t-shirt, Sam would certainly hang me for NOT WEARING a vest. In the sales-grooming lessons of Sam, “ALWAYS wear a vest!” was lesson number two – which came a close second after “Shave EVERYDAY!”
In sheer anxiety, I quickly take off my t-shirt. As I shed the piece of cloth from my body, a wee bit of smile curves up in Jose’s face.
“Eureka!” he screams.
I look at Jose in bewilderment. Sam reciprocates my feelings.
“Aadi… I have got an idea!” Jose shouts out in joy. “Just wear your t-shirt like it is now – inside out!” Jose explains.
I look down at my t-shirt. It has turned inside out while I was taking it off – and now it is nothing but a plain gray t-shirt. Without second thoughts I wear my inside out t-shirt and we catch the first taxi back to our hotel.
* * *
The journey back to the hotel is pretty uneventful with none of us uttering a single word throughout the entire drive. I presume that like me the other two are also just praying to their respective gods for saving our asses today.
We enter the hotel and after a brief adieu, head out to our respective rooms. I fish out my room key and swipe it to open the door to my room. All I need right now is a cool shower to loosen me up.
As I step into my room, I spot a white envelop lying at the entrance. I open it to find an invitation card:
--------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Sir,
As an esteemed club-member of our hotel, we would like to extend to you an invitation to the evening’s special event:
COCKTAIL PARTY!!!
Time: 8:00 PM to 12:00 AM
Venue: Falcon Heights (Rooftop Resto-bar)
Please note: Dress code is Formal for Ladies and Gents.
We look forward to see you there
(signed)
Sales Manager
Event sponsor: Heineken
--------------------------------------------------------------
So much for the ban in liquor in this country…
I am too cozy inside my rug to get up and attend the call. I stretch out for my life saver of the hour – my pillow. Pulling it up over my head, I manage to subdue the noise…
Zzzzzzz…….
Beep Beep… Beep Beep…
Now it’s the turn of the notorious alarm clock. Even the pillow over my head fails to drown the shrilling blare. I have to give up.
Pulling myself out of the rug, I somehow manage to shut the darn thing off, but by then the phone starts ringing again.
“Good morning sir… this is your wake up call for 9 AM. We have been trying to wake you up since an hour now. Have a great day!”
Gosh! It is already quarter past 10… Sam and Jose would kill me.
No they won’t kill me, they aren’t that bad. But I am sure they are in the middle of their breakfast at this moment and by the time I reach, the breakfast service would have ended!! Now that is even worse than getting killed by Sam and Jose!
I quickly enter the toilet… Sitting there I start contemplating about ways in which I could at the least grab an omelet from the restaurant. Brushing my teeth and shaving are two tasks which I could do without at this critical situation. That leaves me with just one task – getting dressed!
* * *
This is where I will eclipse my toilet exploits for a while and throw some light on some more important information. If you are wondering, where I am at this moment, I am in a hotel at a country in Middle East with my team for business.
“Business” – That is what we “sales folks” term anything and everything that we do at work. We travel for “business” trips, attend “business” meetings. Even our visas are known as “business” visas and sometimes if we get lucky, we even travel “business” class. So now that I have explained the importance of this word in our lives, I will continue with my story. After a long and hectic conference in the country, today was Friday – the weekend of the Middle East. From tomorrow we begin our series of “business” meetings.
It is very rare for us to get some time for ourselves during our business trip, so Sam and Jose had left no stone unturned to make this day as eventful as possible. That explains the 10:30 AM deadline, when we are to set out of the hotel for the biggest shopping center in the city.
The agenda? Shopping, movies and eating out.
Eating out… phew!! If ever I am travelling to a foreign country with Sam, it is always turns out to be a herculean task to get food at the right time. Sam’s fervor for Indian food always results in us roaming endlessly in unchartered territories. However, the end result always makes it up for the effort put in, as I too am not too fond of cold sandwiches and near-raw meat that are usually served at most places abroad.
* * *
Now back to my toilet saga…
I look down… the shorts that I am wearing seem good enough for the outing that we have planned for today. Looking further down I conclude that the sandals aren’t bad either. All I need to do now is wash, flush and rush – which I finish off in no time. On my way out I quickly grab my green t-shirt, and try to slither it over my head – and this is when my left foot gets caught in the carpet and I come crashing down – BANG!!
“Little do I realize at this time that this is the supernatural power in action, which is trying to give me a not-so subtle hint about something being absolutely not right.”
I rise unperturbed and rush to the restaurant.
* * *
It is already 10:25 AM when I reach the restaurant. The welcome board yells out at me, “Breakfast: 6:30 AM to 10:30 AM”. I mock at the board and rush to the omelet counter.
As I am about to place my order, a voice booms out from over my shoulder, “four egg whites, with salt onion and pepper… and yes, cooked well from both sides”. Hey that’s exactly what I want. I turn back to see Jose smiling at me. “Sir, this order is already set for you at the table…” saying this he points towards Sam, who is waving at me from the corner table.
“Good morning Aadi”, says Sam as I pull up my chair at the table. I could see that Jose had already finished his continental breakfast and was just left with some coffee. Sam cleans his plate by taking the last bite of his French toast.
“You can do a huge favor on us by just managing with this omelet today bro…” Sam tells me. Although he puts it as a request to me but I know Sam means business. “The least you could have done is shaved before coming down for breakfast…” Sam’s mocking continues.
* * *
Till the time I think of giving back a good answer to Sam, let me give you his brief introduction. Sam, the sales head of our group, is the boss of Jose and me. Sales is his life and in every part of his life.
His goal? - To make every member of his team the best sales person in this world.
Since the last one year, ever since he has hired me, Sam has been on his toes to make me presentable as a valuable member of the ‘Sales fraternity’; however some nuts like me are difficult to crack. Although in my defense I can say that I have modified myself a lot – from being the torn-jeans-n-slippers lad from the city, I have now become a so-called high-flying executive who wears suits for most of his day-time activities and shirts with cufflinks for his sun-down engagements. I have even sacrificed my long tresses for this job and my ambition to get a tattoo on my right arm seems like a distant dream now.
However, underneath this strict and no-nonsense shell of Sam lies a caring elder brother who makes sure that even the roughest weathers pass through him before touching his team.
* * *
“Come on Sam… it is the weekend today,” I say. “And moreover, I had shaved last night only…” I add.
“Then you better do something about your hyper-active hormones Aadi, that cause your facial hair to grow back so fast,” Sam strikes back.
I am stubborn, but I am not stupid. I know when to shut up during an argument – especially when there seems to be no chance of the decision going in my favor. I silently set out to finish my breakfast – if you can call that a breakfast.
* * *
“I have called the taxi and it is waiting for us outside the hotel,” Jose declares with a glance at his watch. That is typical Jose… always so particular and so perfect. Now that I have mentioned about this guy and since I have some time till we walk up to the taxi, let me take this opportunity to introduce my counterpart, Jose.
Jose is the perfect example of the good boy that we used to have as class-monitors in our schools.
He always wakes up in time in the morning, finishes all his tasks on time, shaves impeccably every day! And his clothes… his clothes are always formal… yes ALWAYS. Even on a weekend, Jose dresses up in a crisp ironed shirt and a pleated trouser. I sometimes wonder if this guy ever gets into his pajamas, or does he sleep in his business suit?
* * *
As we step out in the smoldering heat of the Middle East summers, Jose spots our taxi and runs towards it. This is when Sam slips something into my pocket and walks off. I dig into my pocket to extract a handful of dry fruits and nuts. I shout out to Sam, “Thanks for that…”
He winks at me and says, “I know that omelet won’t be able to sustain you for more than an hour dude… keep munching till I treat you guys to a grand Indian lunch today!” Popping an almond into my mouth, I follow him to the taxi.
“To the City Center,” Jose directs the driver. Each of us gets busy immediately in directing the AC vent towards our faces. Phew! This heat could roast a duck live on the streets…
“Where are you from?” the driver tries to strike a conversation.
“India,” Jose replies.
“Me from Pakistan,” the driver answers an unasked question.
In no time the conversation between the driver and Jose moves on from countries to Indian movies and Indian film stars. Sam chooses to be the silent spectator, while I wonder about the fact that how could the people from Pakistan who we meet abroad be so friendly with us and vice versa. If only our political leaders could take a few tips from us…
Pondering over this thought, I set out on my mission to hog down the dry-fruits given to me by Sam, before anybody else gets into the mood of munching on a few themselves. In no time we reach our destination and incidentally I too finish my extended breakfast.
* * *
As soon as we enter the mall, we look for directions towards the Carrefour. That’s our global favorite supermarket and on it we rely for our small ration of soft drinks and snacks for our stay during the business trips.
After entering Carrefour, Jose asks me to pick up some cold drink for him and strays away to the books section. Sam and I pick up a cart and begin our shopping expedition. An interesting thing to be pointed out at this moment is that both Sam and I are born shopaholics, and when it comes to this activity we can even put the female of our species to shame. After picking up the regular wafers, biscuits, juices, cold drinks and some chewing gum, we move towards the toys section.
“Why don’t you spend time at a section of your choice, while I pick up some toys for my daughter,” says Sam he adds.
I like the idea as I have pretty much no interest in the toys section.
“Okay then… Catch up with me at the electronics section,” saying this I move on.
* * *
I start looking for directions to the electronics section. That is when I notice a guy staring at my t-shirt with awe. By his attire I can make out that he is a resident of this country. I smile at him and move on…
As I pass by the clothes section, I walk past a mirror. Taking a few steps back I look at myself on the mirror and check if there is something on my t-shirt to attract attention. No… there isn’t.
My gaze travels to the background in the mirror… Oh my God! I see the same guy approaching me from a distance. I start contemplating what might the guy’s intentions be!
“Oh ok… now I understand things a bit clearly,” I explain to myself.
“After ages I have been working out in the gym during this long stay at the hotel. This short stint at the gym might have chiseled out my muscular body from my college body-building days…” I assume. “Moreover, this body-hugging t-shirt fails to be as modest as I am about my well puffed biceps…”
And I have read a lot about homosexuality being openly accepted in countries outside India. With this instance, things start falling into place. However, since my preferences are totally different from this guy’s, this situation calls for an SOS. I take bigger steps towards the electronics section now. On the way I pick up the cold drinks for Jose.
I am sure that the guy must have given up by now. Dropping the cold-drink cans in a cart, I push it towards the sign displaying “Computer Peripherals”.
There is a Sony external hard disk which I have been eyeing since a long while… let me find out if I can afford it with my savings this time.
Little did I know that I had heaved my sigh of relief a little too soon.
“Excuse me Mister!!” a voice booms from behind my back. I turn around and to my horror see the same guy approaching me. This fellow seems to be really desperate to get me.
I ignore his callout and rush towards the toy section. There I see Sam and Jose from a distance and rush to them in no time. Phew… now I am not alone.
“Hey Mister… I think you not hear me! I asking you to stop for so long!” the guy steps in right between me and my colleagues.
* * *
I tell myself, “it is all right Aadi… this man wouldn’t molest you in a public place.” I try all means to pacify myself. I can talk it out and explain to this guy that although I respect his thoughts and inclinations but I wouldn’t be interested in him.
“What’s wrong?” Sam comes out from behind this man. Jose is with him.
“Is he your friend?” the guy asks Sam pointing his finger at me.
“Yes, he is… why do you ask?” Sam retorts.
“Mister… your friend needs to take off his t-shirt RIGHT NOW… else I call the police!” the guy replies.
My jaw drops. I was 100% correct about this guy’s intentions. By now I start believing more in my super powers to judge people – just by looking at a person I can grasp what he is thinking about in no time. However, what bugs me at this situation is how can this guy threaten me so openly?!?
“And may I ask why?” Sam enquires.
“Because in our country alcohol is UNACCEPTABLE… and your friend is wearing a Heineken t-shirt,” he snaps back.
* * *
“What!” Sam, Jose and I gasp in unison.
“Buddy… my friend here is just wearing a Heineken t-shirt… he’s not drinking in public,” Jose tries to play the role of my advocate. Sam nods in agreement.
“I say take off t-shirt or I call police…” the guy adamantly stands by his words.
Finding my friends beside me, I too gather some courage.
“Yes Mister, I am not taking off this t-shirt… do whatever you want to do!” I find my lost voice.
“Oh is it? You are in deep trouble mister… deep trouble!” saying this he walks off.
I feel that I have scared away the idiot. My confidence melts down in no time when Jose whispers to me, “Aadi, I hope we haven’t taken a wrong step by messing around like this in an unknown territory!”
I try to shrug of my fear by saying, “No way Jose… what on earth can that guy do to us?” As soon as I complete my statement, I see the guy returning with two sturdy police men by his sides.
That is enough for my bravery… I look around, spot the nearest sign to the toilet, and flee from the ‘scene of crime’ in a jiffy. I did not see behind me but am sure that close on my heels are Sam and Jose.
* * *
Crashing into the toilet I heave a sigh of relief. Having taken such a twisted and turned path, I am sure that the two overweight policemen and the guy could never have chased me.
I look at my t-shirt in the mirror. Sam and Jose too stare from behind me.
“Take off the darn t-shirt”, Sam says. “You can be in your vest,” he adds.
“If only I would have worn a vest today!” I think out aloud.
“What!” Sam and Jose cry in chorus now. We all are getting better in this skill of exclaiming in accord.
Sam stares at me in fury. I am sure that if the local law doesn’t prosecute me for WEARING the Heineken t-shirt, Sam would certainly hang me for NOT WEARING a vest. In the sales-grooming lessons of Sam, “ALWAYS wear a vest!” was lesson number two – which came a close second after “Shave EVERYDAY!”
In sheer anxiety, I quickly take off my t-shirt. As I shed the piece of cloth from my body, a wee bit of smile curves up in Jose’s face.
“Eureka!” he screams.
I look at Jose in bewilderment. Sam reciprocates my feelings.
“Aadi… I have got an idea!” Jose shouts out in joy. “Just wear your t-shirt like it is now – inside out!” Jose explains.
I look down at my t-shirt. It has turned inside out while I was taking it off – and now it is nothing but a plain gray t-shirt. Without second thoughts I wear my inside out t-shirt and we catch the first taxi back to our hotel.
* * *
The journey back to the hotel is pretty uneventful with none of us uttering a single word throughout the entire drive. I presume that like me the other two are also just praying to their respective gods for saving our asses today.
We enter the hotel and after a brief adieu, head out to our respective rooms. I fish out my room key and swipe it to open the door to my room. All I need right now is a cool shower to loosen me up.
As I step into my room, I spot a white envelop lying at the entrance. I open it to find an invitation card:
--------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Sir,
As an esteemed club-member of our hotel, we would like to extend to you an invitation to the evening’s special event:
COCKTAIL PARTY!!!
Time: 8:00 PM to 12:00 AM
Venue: Falcon Heights (Rooftop Resto-bar)
Please note: Dress code is Formal for Ladies and Gents.
We look forward to see you there
(signed)
Sales Manager
Event sponsor: Heineken
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So much for the ban in liquor in this country…
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Sunday, September 16, 2007
• Life is Good
"One double-cheese chicken burger and one cappuccino..." handing over a five hundred rupee note, I placed my order across the counter.
"Would you like to have a medium or a large coffee sir?" the girl at the counter asked.
"Small..." I snorted.
"...with cream or without cream sir?" she went on.
I took a deep breath and replied, "No cream!"
"Some extra cheese in your burger sir?" the girl inquired as she keyed something into her machine.
That was all that I could take."Look here young lady... I have ordered what I want. And if I don't get my food without any further interrogation from your side, I am afraid I'll have to cancel my order and maybe complain to the manager!!" I screamed at the girl.
She looked up from her machine and made eye contact with me for the first time. Her face depicted a site of extreme shock. Apparently, she didn’t see this coming.
“Ye-Ye-Yes sir… in a moment sir,” saying this returned me the receipt and change in no time.
“Please be seated, we’ll serve you. Have a good day sir,” she said smiling forcibly at me.
“Today I am getting to interact with all the irritating people that dwell in this planet,” I thought as I walked towards an empty table, carrying my helmet. I placed the helmet on the table and seated myself.
I let go off a deep sigh as the episode of today morning flashed before my eyes.
“We have no doubt about your capability Aaditya… it’s just that the policies of our company are such that only limited people in the department can be given an A-grade raise,” Prashanth, my Project Manager babbled without looking up from his laptop screen.
“But Subramani worked with me in the same project, just on a different module,” I tried to debate. “Then what was it about him that made him get an A and not me?” I put forth my point.
“See Aaditya… there are various factors that determine the grade of a software engineer in our project,” Prashanth explained. “Here, take a look at your performance chart…” saying this he turned the screen of his laptop towards me.
“The scheduled deviation shown by you during this project clearly depicts a dip in your efficiency during the last stage,” Prashanth blabbered as he drew a virtual circle with his index finger over a bizarre diagram on the screen.
As he went on and on, explaining the various diagrams he had prepared to flaunt during this meeting, I realized the fact that it was totally useless arguing with this adamant fellow. Managers are masters in sweet talking you to eat even shit.
I kept mum for the rest of the meeting. After about an hour, I left the room feeling like a total loser.
Slowly I ambled towards my cubicle… with all my dreams shattered. I sat at my desk and closed all the web pages that I had opened to check out the latest car models available in the market. With the current raise that I got, my own car still seemed to be a distant dream. Now I realized the significance of sitting late in office just to show off to the boss. I sure had been a fool.
“Your double-cheese chicken burger and cappuccino sir,” the waiter brought me back into the present.
“Thanks,” I muttered as I started stirring the sugar in my coffee. As I was just about to take the first sip of the beverage, a slam on my back shook me up.
“Aadi… you bugger! Where the hell have you been all these years?” I turned around to see Sumit, my friend from college. Sumit had changed a lot since I last met him at one of our alumni meets. It had been almost two years since then. He used to be a fat fellow with a mop of hair falling on his forehead. But now, his long tresses and the sparkling earring perched on one of his ear-lobes made him resemble a style icon.
“Dude… long time no see!” I expressed my surprise with an open mouth. To tell the truth, I wasn’t exactly happy to meet Sumit. He wasn’t liked by many ever since our college days. The typical rich, spoilt brat that he used to be... he would never ever be tired of bragging about himself all day long. His father owned some big petrol pumps in and around the city and his birthday gifts used to comprise of bikes, cars and all cool things every college student could possibly dream of.
“So… where have you been dude?” I asked shaking his hand.
“I am doing my masters from the Michigan State University in the US of A,” he informed me with a grin. “It’s my last semester… dropped by to visit India once before settling down for good in the states,” added Sumit.
Some people have all the luck, I thought. This guy used to pass his exams by buying question papers every year. His dad used to be friends with the local magistrate; hence even if the professors or the principal ever smelled something fishy, he managed to get away with it easily. It hurt to know that such a person could get settled in the USA so easily while I am toiling just to get my visa processing initiated since ages.
“Do you mind if I join you?” asked Sumit as he pulled over a chair. I had barely finished my coffee and was in no mood to listen to Sumit, brag about his American adventures, at this moment.
“I’m very sorry pal… but I’ve really got to leave for a meeting right now,” I said as I picked up my helmet and the chicken burger.
“Do you want me to drop you someplace in my dad’s new Mercedes Benz?” Sumit said flaunting the shining keys of the vehicle.
Huh! As if he really wanted to drop me. Anybody could decipher that this was just his method of showing off his dad’s money.
“Thanks dude, but I guess my bike won’t fit into your dad’s Merc…” I walked off with this taunting statement.
As I stepped out of the café, without more ado I unwrapped the packing of the burger. The yummy smell of the mustard sauce filled the air. At least something good was happening with me today... this burger will make me forget all the miseries I am going through. I headed towards the parking-lot as I took a bite into my evening snack.
I was about to savor the next bit of the burger, when one kid zapped across me in such speed, that I almost lost my balance. I barely managed to regain my initial posture, when another kid shoved past me and this time I slipped and tumbled.
Splat! My burger landed just two inches away from my nose, on the ground. Gosh! Was I having a bad day or what? I collected myself and brushed my trouser. Picking up the helmet I took one glance at my chicken burger worth eighty five rupees, lying waste on the ground.
That was the most I could take in a single day. I felt fumes coming out of my ears.I looked around to locate the miscreants who had caused this untimely demise of my evening snack.
There they were… sitting behind the bush, guffawing away. I rushed towards them. As I approached the kids, I realized that they were rag pickers… hardly 7-8 years old. I was about to yell at the two when I noticed the reason behind their gleeful excitement. One of the kids had found a small piece of bread with some jam on it. They had neatly laid down that single bread piece between them, on the ground, and were totally engrossed in enjoying the treat.
I took one look at my burger lying at a distant and another at the piece of bread that the kids had. Even though I had so much in my life, I haven’t been half as happy ever as these two kids were at this moment.
I suddenly lost all desires to bellow at the kids… I guess a smile appeared on my lips for the first time today. The car that I wanted to buy didn’t seem all that necessary any more. The raise that I got today appeared quite sufficient. And who wanted to go to the USA now.
With these thoughts hovering in my mind, I strolled up to my rickety bike and drove off with a very new outlook towards life.
My life sure is good.
"Would you like to have a medium or a large coffee sir?" the girl at the counter asked.
"Small..." I snorted.
"...with cream or without cream sir?" she went on.
I took a deep breath and replied, "No cream!"
"Some extra cheese in your burger sir?" the girl inquired as she keyed something into her machine.
That was all that I could take."Look here young lady... I have ordered what I want. And if I don't get my food without any further interrogation from your side, I am afraid I'll have to cancel my order and maybe complain to the manager!!" I screamed at the girl.
She looked up from her machine and made eye contact with me for the first time. Her face depicted a site of extreme shock. Apparently, she didn’t see this coming.
“Ye-Ye-Yes sir… in a moment sir,” saying this returned me the receipt and change in no time.
“Please be seated, we’ll serve you. Have a good day sir,” she said smiling forcibly at me.
“Today I am getting to interact with all the irritating people that dwell in this planet,” I thought as I walked towards an empty table, carrying my helmet. I placed the helmet on the table and seated myself.
I let go off a deep sigh as the episode of today morning flashed before my eyes.
“We have no doubt about your capability Aaditya… it’s just that the policies of our company are such that only limited people in the department can be given an A-grade raise,” Prashanth, my Project Manager babbled without looking up from his laptop screen.
“But Subramani worked with me in the same project, just on a different module,” I tried to debate. “Then what was it about him that made him get an A and not me?” I put forth my point.
“See Aaditya… there are various factors that determine the grade of a software engineer in our project,” Prashanth explained. “Here, take a look at your performance chart…” saying this he turned the screen of his laptop towards me.
“The scheduled deviation shown by you during this project clearly depicts a dip in your efficiency during the last stage,” Prashanth blabbered as he drew a virtual circle with his index finger over a bizarre diagram on the screen.
As he went on and on, explaining the various diagrams he had prepared to flaunt during this meeting, I realized the fact that it was totally useless arguing with this adamant fellow. Managers are masters in sweet talking you to eat even shit.
I kept mum for the rest of the meeting. After about an hour, I left the room feeling like a total loser.
Slowly I ambled towards my cubicle… with all my dreams shattered. I sat at my desk and closed all the web pages that I had opened to check out the latest car models available in the market. With the current raise that I got, my own car still seemed to be a distant dream. Now I realized the significance of sitting late in office just to show off to the boss. I sure had been a fool.
“Your double-cheese chicken burger and cappuccino sir,” the waiter brought me back into the present.
“Thanks,” I muttered as I started stirring the sugar in my coffee. As I was just about to take the first sip of the beverage, a slam on my back shook me up.
“Aadi… you bugger! Where the hell have you been all these years?” I turned around to see Sumit, my friend from college. Sumit had changed a lot since I last met him at one of our alumni meets. It had been almost two years since then. He used to be a fat fellow with a mop of hair falling on his forehead. But now, his long tresses and the sparkling earring perched on one of his ear-lobes made him resemble a style icon.
“Dude… long time no see!” I expressed my surprise with an open mouth. To tell the truth, I wasn’t exactly happy to meet Sumit. He wasn’t liked by many ever since our college days. The typical rich, spoilt brat that he used to be... he would never ever be tired of bragging about himself all day long. His father owned some big petrol pumps in and around the city and his birthday gifts used to comprise of bikes, cars and all cool things every college student could possibly dream of.
“So… where have you been dude?” I asked shaking his hand.
“I am doing my masters from the Michigan State University in the US of A,” he informed me with a grin. “It’s my last semester… dropped by to visit India once before settling down for good in the states,” added Sumit.
Some people have all the luck, I thought. This guy used to pass his exams by buying question papers every year. His dad used to be friends with the local magistrate; hence even if the professors or the principal ever smelled something fishy, he managed to get away with it easily. It hurt to know that such a person could get settled in the USA so easily while I am toiling just to get my visa processing initiated since ages.
“Do you mind if I join you?” asked Sumit as he pulled over a chair. I had barely finished my coffee and was in no mood to listen to Sumit, brag about his American adventures, at this moment.
“I’m very sorry pal… but I’ve really got to leave for a meeting right now,” I said as I picked up my helmet and the chicken burger.
“Do you want me to drop you someplace in my dad’s new Mercedes Benz?” Sumit said flaunting the shining keys of the vehicle.
Huh! As if he really wanted to drop me. Anybody could decipher that this was just his method of showing off his dad’s money.
“Thanks dude, but I guess my bike won’t fit into your dad’s Merc…” I walked off with this taunting statement.
As I stepped out of the café, without more ado I unwrapped the packing of the burger. The yummy smell of the mustard sauce filled the air. At least something good was happening with me today... this burger will make me forget all the miseries I am going through. I headed towards the parking-lot as I took a bite into my evening snack.
I was about to savor the next bit of the burger, when one kid zapped across me in such speed, that I almost lost my balance. I barely managed to regain my initial posture, when another kid shoved past me and this time I slipped and tumbled.
Splat! My burger landed just two inches away from my nose, on the ground. Gosh! Was I having a bad day or what? I collected myself and brushed my trouser. Picking up the helmet I took one glance at my chicken burger worth eighty five rupees, lying waste on the ground.
That was the most I could take in a single day. I felt fumes coming out of my ears.I looked around to locate the miscreants who had caused this untimely demise of my evening snack.
There they were… sitting behind the bush, guffawing away. I rushed towards them. As I approached the kids, I realized that they were rag pickers… hardly 7-8 years old. I was about to yell at the two when I noticed the reason behind their gleeful excitement. One of the kids had found a small piece of bread with some jam on it. They had neatly laid down that single bread piece between them, on the ground, and were totally engrossed in enjoying the treat.
I took one look at my burger lying at a distant and another at the piece of bread that the kids had. Even though I had so much in my life, I haven’t been half as happy ever as these two kids were at this moment.
I suddenly lost all desires to bellow at the kids… I guess a smile appeared on my lips for the first time today. The car that I wanted to buy didn’t seem all that necessary any more. The raise that I got today appeared quite sufficient. And who wanted to go to the USA now.
With these thoughts hovering in my mind, I strolled up to my rickety bike and drove off with a very new outlook towards life.
My life sure is good.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
• Finally we Meet…
I lifted my coffee mug and took one sip. Yuck! It was ice-cold. One look at the wall clock made me decide that it was too late to heat up the coffee again.
It was late night... the clock showed half past one, and here I was sitting with my laptop, giving some finishing touches to my presentation that I was supposed to deliver tomorrow morning... oops, correction: today morning.
My project manager sure knew how to extract work out of each of us to the fullest.
“Our team will set an example for the company...” my project manager announced one fine day during a team-lunch. “We'll do off with late sittings. Don't worry, with my excellent time management skills, that would be a child's play,” he added.
Since then, from the very next day my team got habituated to leaving office comparatively earlier, however we used to get enough home-work to keep us up all night. That bastard had duped us.
After toiling for fifteen more minutes, I decided to call it a day. Shutting down the laptop, I headed to hit my bed. I had barely closed my eyes when my mobile phone started ringing. Shit! Hope it’s not from office.
I felt my way to the phone and opened my right eye to discover the name, Jade flashing on the display.
“Hey Addy, where are you?” enquired Jaydeep, or Jade as we called him.
“Home buddy… where else?” I murmured.
“Can you come over to Apollo Hospital right now?” I suddenly sensed the anxiety in Jade’s voice.
“What happened Jade? Tell me…” I exclaimed. I wasn’t feeling sleepy anymore and had already started fishing out my clothes from the wardrobe.
“It’s Rishi… he’s met with an accident. A truck hit his bike while he was on his way to the office!” Jade said it all in one breath.
I was stunned. Rishi used to work in a call center. Although a cab used to come to pick him up, but this crazy fellow preferred a speedy bike ride to the boring cab.
“My long legs don’t fit in the small company vehicle… I feel cramped pal,” the six-foot Rishi would explain whenever any of us tried to sermon him on that matter.
Jade was silent for a while over the phone now. I too didn’t utter a word.
“Hello… Hello Addy! You still there?” Jade spoke from the other end.
“Yeah dude… is he serious?” I enquired.
“Can’t say. The doctors are examining him. I’ll get to know only in an hour.” Jade replied. “Please come immediately mate… I am finding it difficult to manage things on my own here. Try to get Anurag along with you,” he added before hanging up.
I quickly slipped out of my pajamas, put on my jeans, picked up the helmet and my bike keys and rushed out to start my bike. Just before driving off I dialed Anurag’s number.
Anurag answered my call right away. “Hey Addy! What’s up dude… so late?” From his voice I could figure out that Anurag wasn’t sleeping. It was almost a year that we had finished our college and this poor fellow was still on a job hunt. Since he didn’t have to get up in the morning for any engagements, he had become an owl by now.
Rishi had offered to help him get a job in his call center so many times, but Anurag had some ego. “I didn’t do engineering to join a call center dude,” would be his prompt reply every time.
“Quick dude! Get dressed up. I’m coming to pick you up in ten minutes,” I said.
“At this hour!! Anything serious?” Anurag queried.
“Bad news… Rishi’s had an accident. We’ve to rush to Apollo at once!” saying this I hung up and guided my bike towards Anurag’s house.
In less than ten minutes I was outside his flat. Anurag was sitting on the steps, smoking a cigarette. Seeing me he threw away the cigarette and came running.
“Don’t tell me that the ass was biking to office again,” Anurag asked about Rishi as he hopped on my bike. “Hmm…” I muttered as I drove off.
“Gosh! When will he start acting like a grown up?” he yelled just as I swerved my bike to dodge a dog’s carcass lying on the road.
“Easy baby, easy… I don’t want us both to land up in the hospital bed next to Rishi’s bed,” Anurag said putting a hand on my shoulder. “You want me to drive?” he offered.
“I am all right dear…” I assured him as I sped past a truck.
“So, who’s there at the hospital with him?” Anurag inquired.
“Jade had called me up… he’s there,” I said as I squinted to look for potholes in the dark road. Turning at the end of the road, we reached the building with ‘Apollo Hospital’ written across it.
Anurag collected the parking ticket while I parked my bike.
“Which way to the emergency ward?” I asked the boy at the parking lot. We ran towards the emergency ward as soon as the lad pointed his finger towards the same.
“Mr. Rishi Verma!” Anurag declared at the reception.
The nurse flipped through a couple of pages in her register and looked up.
“OT-7C, first floor. Please take the staircase,” she said.
Anurag ran… I followed closely behind his heels.
“Hey, hey! By OT she meant the Operation Theatre, right?” Anurag confirmed.
Before I could answer, we bumped into Harry.
“This way guys…” saying this he guided us towards OT-7C. There, seated outside the Operation Theatre was Jade, with his face buried in his hands.
I sat beside Jade and putting my arm around him asked, “Is he all right?”
Jade didn’t speak… he just shook his head.
Harry took over, “Doctors are performing a surgery on him right now. They say that the right side of his body has been hurt badly.”
“Let us hope for the best!” Harry added.
I looked towards him. Harry… or Harit, as his parents had named him, used to be the kid of our group. Ever enthusiastic… and game for the weirdest of adventures. He had changed a lot now. Something seemed very different in him… maybe that was because he had grown his tresses.
Actually, I was meeting Harry after almost six months today. In fact, not only Harry but also I hadn’t been in touch with the rest of the gang that often. And to think that during the four years of college, the five of us used to be inseparable.
We literally used to do everything together.
Now my job seldom allows me to freak out with my gang ever.
Jade is busy with his MBA preparations. Harry is looking after his dad’s business.
And Anurag… he is still looking for a job. Rather, a job of his stature.
“As soon as I got the news of Rishi’s accident, I called up Harry and dashed here,” Jade recalled.
“But, how on earth did…” before I could complete my sentence, the door of the operation theatre opened and two masked people came out. Of course they had to be the surgeons.
We rose to our feet… one of the surgeons came towards us and disclosed his intellectual face as he removed the mask.
I took a deep breath and didn’t let go of it until I saw a smile on the doctor’s face.
“Your friend is out of danger,” the doctor addressed us.
“Phew!!” chorused Jade and Anurag.
“But we need to keep him under observation for an hour, so he’s been moved to the ICU right now,” the doctor concluded.
“Thank you doctor,” Jade said, heaving a sigh of relief. The rest of us echoed Jade’s words as the doctor walked off.
We celebrated with a high five followed by a group hug.
The doctor returned. “Any of you with blood group A-positive?” he enquired.
Anurag stepped forward, followed by Jade.
“It would be great if one of you could donate a unit to compensate for the blood we used on your friend… there’s no compulsion though,” the doctor added.
Anurag said, “No issues... I am game for it.”
“Great! I would request the rest of you to wait at the reception and you please come with me,” saying this he walked off with Anurag.
“So, how did you come to know of Rishi’s accident?” I asked Jade as we strolled towards the reception.
“Incidentally Rishi had put my mobile phone number as the emergency contact in his company I-Card,” Jade explained.
Rishi used to stay alone in the city in a rented one room flat. That room used to be the after-college and weekend hangout for us during our college days. Even after getting a job quite far off from the city, Rishi never ever considered shifting to a place nearer to his office. Guess he had some emotional attachments with that flat… well, so did we.
Harry picked up the Sports-World from the magazine rack before we settled down at the sofa. He had forever been a sports freak.
He was a member of our college football team and used to miss out on a lot of lectures because of his practice sessions.
“This year Japan has very good chances of upsetting some big teams in the football world cup… what say?” Harry put forth his point.
“Nah… these five-foot Asian players stand no chance against the giants of Europe and South America”, I debated.
Jade wasn’t interested in our conversation. I noticed that he was too much engrossed in gazing at the pretty nurse over the reception counter.
I nudged Harry and pointed towards Jade with my eyes.
“Pretty babe, huh?” Harry mockingly addressed Jade.
“Hmm?” Jade made one of his most innocent faces as he turned towards us.
“What babe?” Jade added with a wink. That was typical Jaydeep. During college days too he used to sneakily stare at all the chicks and nobody used to notice. Guess it was his naive expression that never gave him away.
“Remember the time when I had almost got Jade to give up this habit of his totally?” Harry recalled.
I remembered quite well.
It was one fine Delhi winter morning. The five of us were sitting at the amphitheatre steps soaking up the warm sun, just as a very pretty girl passed by us. Jade as usual took a sneak preview of the lady without our knowledge.
Ten days later it was Valentine’s Day. However, for us unattached guys; this day didn’t hold much value. So, that day we decided to mourn our single-status by attending a lecture… a feat that we very rarely performed.
Harry was however missing from the classroom that day too. He and his football practice, whew!
Suddenly the monotonous tone of Professor Sharma was disrupted by a melodious voice, “Excuse me sir… may I speak to Jaydeep Roy for a moment please?” It was the same pretty lass who had walked past us some days back, at the amphitheatre.
Jade was astonished. Professor Sharma gestured him to go out of the classroom and meet the girl. Jade walked off mystified.
I sensed something fishy… so I pulled Rishi and Anurag with me and followed Jade.
The girl started speaking to Jade and the three of us listened with strained ears from a distance. “Is this you who has written this?” she said waving a sheet of paper at Jade.
Jade took a look at the sheet. “Love letter!! Gosh no…” Jade leaped back.
“My brother saw you staring at me some days back, and he’s sure you are the person behind this letter,” she exclaimed. “He’s waiting for you round that corner… go meet him,” she added as she pointed towards the lab.
Jade was traumatized. With meek steps he started walking towards the corner. He looked at me once and I assured him that we are behind him.
Our college was notorious for bullying lads; hence all of us were a little nervous. Slowly we crept behind Jade.
“Muahahahaha!!” the stupid ass Harry jumped out from behind the wall.
“Scared you Jade… did I?” Harry enquired.
We all were amazed. The pretty lady who was the partner in crime of Harry also burst into peels of laughter. “Let me introduce you to my cousin. Guys… meet Sonia,” Harry said pointing towards the girl.
Recalling the episode, Harry and I burst into peels of laughter. Suddenly we realized that we were in a hospital and had to suppress our glee for the moment.
“I will surely take revenge from you someday for that episode Harry,” Jade sneered.
“Grow up Jade,” Harry giggled.
“Why? What did this kid do now?” I heard Anurag’s voice behind me. He was holding a piece of cotton in his arm. “These bastards took a lot of blood out of me… I'll have to workout extra tomorrow. Well the doc said that we can meet Rishi in fifteen minutes.” he added as he aimed and threw the cotton bud directly into the waste basket.
I was the only person who took notice of this hole-in-one accomplishment of his. As he looked at me I signed an applause using my eyes.
“So, did you give a thought to what I said the other day?” Jade was talking to Anurag.
“What?” Harry and I chorused, unable to withstand our curiosity.
“Nothing guys… this Jade was suggesting me to prepare for the MBA exams along with him,” said Anurag. “Bad idea”, he added.
“I don’t think so…” I intervened.
“Well, I don’t want to become just another manager in just another big-shot company, wearing a tie and attending meetings throughout the day,” Anurag argued.
“Believe me dude, that way you’ll be much better than what I am now… just slaving for my project manager, toiling day and night doing some miserable work.” I tried to explain to Anurag.
“Whatever… but I can’t study anymore,” Anurag concluded.
“Forget it!” Jade spoke up. “It’s of no use trying to explain things to this idiot… he’ll do whatever he wishes to do.”
Jade was right. Anurag was a typical Leo. He was filled with ego till the brim and his stubbornness seldom allowed him to let us have our way with him.
“I wish we all had never grown out of our college days…” Jade suddenly sounded very nostalgic.
“Yeah dude, those sure were the best days of my life… no tension, no worries, just plain fun,” I nodded with a smile.
“That’s why I sometimes feel lucky that I haven’t found a job yet… at least I have some time for myself,” Anurag said. “Look at you all, busy with your jobs and MBA preparations. We guys never meet nowadays,” he complained.
“True pal… very true. And for this we have nobody else to blame but ourselves,” Harry concluded.
The telephone at the reception rang.
“Yes doctor… sure doctor,” saying these four words the nurse disconnected the phone.
We looked towards her with expectant eyes.
“You can go and meet your friend now… Ward 33, Bed 5,” she said.
We all rushed to see Rishi. Just outside Ward 33, the guard reminded us to keep our voices down. We almost tiptoed towards bed number 5 to avert waking up any sleeping patient.
There he was… Rishi was leaning up against a pillow with his right hand plastered. A tube from the hanging glucose bottle had found it’s way to his right arm. He would have appeared to be in a miserable state if it wouldn’t have been for the smile that dwelled on his lips.
“Hey, hey… all you rascals are here! Sorry to spoil your sleep at this hour pals,” Rishi said with a wink. He was struggling while speaking, but he seemed fine enough.
“Just shut up you ass…” Anurag bellowed. “Who do you think you are, Batman? Driving his Bat-Mobile in this dark night…” Anurag went on.
“Chill dude… and please don’t insult my Yamaha by calling it names such as Bat-Mobile and all…” that was typical Rishi. Not failing to crack jokes even at such an hour.
I saw Anurag too sporting a faint smile.
“All the best dude… hope you can put your YA, MA and HA together into one piece after this accident,” Harry commented slyly.
The look on Rishi’s face changed, thinking about his broken bike.
“Come on guys… just for courtesy sake I have been holding on for so long,” Rishi announced suddenly.
We all looked at him questionably.
Seeing the confused look on our faces, Rishi explained, “With so much glucose water flowing inside, a man desperately needs to pee guys!”
“You haven’t changed at all…” was all that I could mutter as Jade fished out the necessary container from under the bed and helped Rishi with his relieving activity.
I felt really tired now. We all had positioned ourselves comfortably around Rishi’s bed. With the gang getting together after such a long time, nobody could contain their excitement and we chattered on unstoppably. It won’t be long before the warden will shoo us off, so each of us wanted to make the most of this time we’d got together..
I looked at us. Times surely have changed.
The five of us who were always together… now it took something as big as a near fatal accident of one to reunite us.
This day surely goes into my diary as ‘The Great Reunion’. Finally we all did sneak out some time from our respective ‘busy’ schedules.
Finally we did meet…
• Gone Are The Days...
Gone are the days...
When, I rode a cycle to my school.
In case I had a puncture,
I’d walk without losing my cool.
Today things are much easier for me,
I have a big car… all mine.
But, sitting in the AC too
A little traffic jam makes me whine!!
Gone are the days...
When, I waited eagerly for festivals to come.
Granny used to give us a rupee each
To eat out and have fun.
Today I celebrate all festivals
Sending emails to friends & family
Spend thousands to eat out lavishly now
But I miss that samosa worth one rupee
Gone are the days...
When I flew my kite... up, up so high
Just seeing it soar above the birds
I could feel that I could fly
Today I fly so often,
Official trips rule my days.
Soaring above the birds isn't fun anymore
Heck! Such are life's ways!
Gone are the days...
When summer holidays was D-event of the year
Playing football in the scorching heat
Dehydration & sunburn... What's that dear?
Now during summers, I take special care
Not to step out much in the sun
And sometimes, if I do go out,
A sunscreen lotion protects me from sunburn
I know those days will never return
Can only recall them and feel good
Those sure were the golden days
But life will move on as it should
If ever in my present life,
My past invites me over to her place
I will kick off my burdens and take the plunge
My golden childhood I will embrace
When, I rode a cycle to my school.
In case I had a puncture,
I’d walk without losing my cool.
Today things are much easier for me,
I have a big car… all mine.
But, sitting in the AC too
A little traffic jam makes me whine!!
Gone are the days...
When, I waited eagerly for festivals to come.
Granny used to give us a rupee each
To eat out and have fun.
Today I celebrate all festivals
Sending emails to friends & family
Spend thousands to eat out lavishly now
But I miss that samosa worth one rupee
Gone are the days...
When I flew my kite... up, up so high
Just seeing it soar above the birds
I could feel that I could fly
Today I fly so often,
Official trips rule my days.
Soaring above the birds isn't fun anymore
Heck! Such are life's ways!
Gone are the days...
When summer holidays was D-event of the year
Playing football in the scorching heat
Dehydration & sunburn... What's that dear?
Now during summers, I take special care
Not to step out much in the sun
And sometimes, if I do go out,
A sunscreen lotion protects me from sunburn
I know those days will never return
Can only recall them and feel good
Those sure were the golden days
But life will move on as it should
If ever in my present life,
My past invites me over to her place
I will kick off my burdens and take the plunge
My golden childhood I will embrace
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