Monday, December 2, 2024

आज फिर मेरे शहर में आया हूं

सालों बाद आज फिर मेरे शहर में आया हूं,

अपने साथ कई पुरानी यादें लाया हूं।
स्कूल की दीवारें चमक रही है, इमारत पहले से बड़ी है,
जहां साइकिल स्टैंड थी वहां आज बसें खड़ी है।
स्कूल का गेट वही है, बस उसमें थोड़ा जंग देख पाया हूं,
सालों बाद आज फिर मेरे शहर में आया हूं।

***

वो खुला मैदान जिसमे पापा ने साइकिल चलाना सिखाया था,
मालूम है मुझे, जान बूझकर उन्होंने मुझे गिराया था।
मां ने डांटा था उन्हें मेरे चोट पे मलहम लगाते हुए,
लेकिन दुनिया से लड़ने के लिए तैयार उन्होंने ही मुझे बनाया था।
चलते चलते पुराने घर के चौखट से टकराया हूं,
सालों बाद आज फिर मेरे शहर में आया हूं।

***

दोस्त कभी न छूटेंगे इस गलत फहमी में रहते थे,
किसी भी खेल में एक दूसरे से हार हम न सहते थे।
वही दोस्त आज सिर्फ वॉट्सएप ग्रुप में मिलते है,
अपनी अपनी जिंदगी की उलझने अकेले ही सुलझाते है।
जाने पहचाने शहर में सिर्फ अंजान चेहरे ही देख पाया हूं,
सालों बाद आज फिर मेरे शहर में आया हूं।

***

पार्क का वो बेंच टूट गया जहां शामें मेरे साथ बिताती थी,
याद है क्या तुम्हें, तुम मुझको कितना सताती थी?
जामुन का पेड़ वहीं है जिससे तोते बीज गिराते थे,
मेरी कमीज़ से तुम वो जमुनी दाग मिटाती थी।
तुम्हारे लिए शायद मैं बीते दिनों का आज बस एक साया हूं,
सालों बाद आज फिर मेरे शहर में आया हूं।

***

शहर शायद इतना बदला सा न लगता, अगर लोग पुराने होते,
उन लम्हों को फिर जी पाते तो यादें नई पिरोते।
फ़िलहाल मेरे बचपन के गलियों में फिर से समाया हूं,
सालों बाद आज फिर मेरे शहर में आया हूं।

Tuesday, February 23, 2021

Pune to Delhi during the pandemic - ordeal of a COVID phobic passenger

The dawn of 2021 brought with it a new basis of division among humankind; one section remained as scared and cautious of the virus as it was during last year and another stepped out to face the world with a ‘que sera sera’ attitude. I fall in the former category. After not budging from the safety of my Pune abode for the past eleven months, I started feeling the pressure from my wife who had to bear with me during this tenure. Instagram posts from her vacationing friends and family drove her to become more assertive. Eventually, I had to bow before her plan of us to fly to Delhi with our four-year-old kid.  

I was prepared for D-day; in fact, more than prepared. The first step was to book an open autorickshaw with a safety partition between the driver and passenger seat, instead of a closed air-conditioned cab, to drop us at the airport. Needless to say, I sprayed ample sanitizer on the seats and most other interior parts of the autorickshaw before stepping into it. All was going well, albeit with a slight apprehension in my mind, till we reached the airport. 

The first sight of the long queues comprising of hundreds of people standing inches away from each other, leading up to the entry gates, made me almost abort our travel plan and return to base. But the pinch on my arm by my wife, who probably read my mind, and the pinch I could foresee on my pocket by the non-refundable over-expensive flight tickets drew me into one of the dreaded queues. I spent the next forty-five minutes in the queue policing people sporting no masks or masks below nose and chin levels. 

“Seat numbers 14E, 24B, and 26B for you, sir. Have a nice journey,” said the airline staff who handed over our boarding passes. “But I am traveling with a child…”

“Sorry, we cannot help you as the flight is fully booked. Please try to adjust with the passenger in your adjacent seat after boarding the flight. Have a nice journey.”

Worried, I headed towards the security gates, where it was a complete bloodbath! Distances between people in the queues had shrunk and masks had slid further down from the nose. I spent the next thirty minutes in the queue again policing people sporting no masks or masks below nose and chin levels.

Finally, while boarding the flight I saw a ray of hope when the airline staff started handing over a PPE kit including a mask, a face shield, and sanitizer pouches to each passenger. Further, the security personnel ensured that everyone was wearing these properly before entering the flight. However, as soon as I entered the flight, I realized that we weren’t the only family with allocated seats strewn across the length of the airplane. There was a commotion with people negotiating with each other to ensure that they could sit with their respective family members. Heated discussions and frustration had brought off quite a few masks and face shields. Putting aside all thoughts about COVID, I jumped into the commotion, but fully armored with my PPE kit. 


Much to my surprise, even though the commotion caused a bit of delay in take-off, every family in the flight managed to negotiate adjacent seats for their members. The air-hostess announced, “We have kept complimentary bottles of drinking water for you at the rear end of this airplane. To avoid contact, we would request you to help yourself,” which triggered a stream of people to head towards the spot. Till now passengers had started complaining about the uncomfortable PPE robes, vision-restricting face shields, and suffocating masks which resulted in quite a few people strolling in the aisle with exposed nose and lips. Tired, but not yet entirely defeated, for the umpteenth time I continued policing people sporting no masks or masks below nose and chin levels.

That’s when the next announcement happened, “Ladies and gentlemen. We have reached cruising altitude. Complimentary food and beverage service will commence in approximately fifteen minutes.” That was it. This ironic revelation put to rest every remaining COVID protection gear on the airplane and my already dwindled hope of not contracting the virus that day. However, to look at the brighter side, if I get out of this one scratchless, I just might turn into the latter category with a ‘que sera sera’ attitude. Only time will tell. Till then I will persuade myself and my family to forgo such complimentary food and beverage services and remain cocooned inside our PPE kits.

Saturday, April 11, 2020

मेरे शहर में...

सड़को पर गिरे सूखे फूल और पत्ते अब बिखरते नहीं है,
खिड़की पे बैठे परिंदे अब किसी से डरते नहीं है,
मंदिर की आरती, मस्जिद की अज़ान अब गूंजा करते नहीं है,
घरों के ऊपर से हवाई-जहाज़ भी अब गुज़रते नहीं है,
किसी का पेट भरने के लिए मुर्गियां अब मरते नहीं है,
शायद मेरे शहर में अब लोग बसते नहीं है।

काम छोड़के अपने बच्चों के साथ लूडो और सांप-सीढ़ी खेलते है,
Video call से हर रोज़, जी हाँ हर रोज़, माँ-बाप की खबर लेते है,
Building के चौकीदार को, दूर से ही सही, "रोटी खा ली?" पूछते है,
पड़ोसियों को कम पड़ जाये तो घर का दूध, सब्ज़ी बांटते है,
अपने जमा पूंजी का गुल्लक Doctors Welfare Fund में डालते है,
शायद मेरे शहर में अब इंसान बसते है।

#coronavirus

Thursday, March 26, 2020

Never again will I complain about...

The five o’ clock alarm for the gym,
Monday mornings at work,
The long and bumpy drives to office,
Guests arriving unannounced,
Watching a mediocre movie at the theater,
Noisy kids playing in my neighborhood,
Not getting my favorite table at the restaurant,
Overstretched queues in the supermarket,
Store-hopping endlessly with my wife,
Friends stealing sips from my glass of beer,
The boring party I am pulled into,
A hug from my sweaty friend,
Dearth of 'me' time.
…never again!

#coronavirus

Tuesday, November 5, 2019

तो दिल्ली में हो तुम

गालियां और शोर-गुल सुनके भी मुस्कुराये,
Mask पहनी हुई लडकियां सिर्फ आँखों से केहर ढाये,
लड्डू उठाओ और घी से उंगलियां moisturize हो जाए,
Supplement में दुसरे शहरों के main newspaper से ज़्यादा पन्ने पाए,
तो दिल्ली में हो तुम।

हर मोड़ में एक ऐतिहासिक इमारत तुमसे टकराये,
अकबर, औरंगज़ेब Roads के नाम बदले, प्रगति मैदान प्रगति मैदान ही कहलाये,
Malls में घुमते हुए सरोजिनी, लाजपत नगर और करोल बाग़ की याद सताये,
Waiter खाने के साथ complimentary लाल-सिरके वाला प्याज़ लाये,
तो दिल्ली में हो तुम।

सब दुर्गा पूजा, गुरपुरब और छत्त same जोश में मनाये,
अपनी गाडी छोड़ metro से सफर करने को दिल ललचाये,
बाजू में बैठा अजनबी घंटो तक केजरीवाल के किस्से सुनाये,
नवंबर ढलते ही Old Monk प्रकट हो जाए,
तो दिल्ली में हो तुम।

Sunday, March 3, 2019

The message

The 'click' of the main door's latch-lock woke her up. With a sweep of her hand on the bed, she confirmed that Aadi had stepped outside the house. In her phone, she checked the time; it was 1:30 AM. He had quit smoking a year ago... but fights, like the one they had last evening, often provided him excuse to have flings with his old addiction.

Putting the mobile phone away, she closed her eyes, but sleep seemed to have distanced itself from her. She too was disturbed. Not merely because of the recent fight they had but owing to the high frequency of such fights they had been having since the past few months. Has this relationship run its course? Is it time for her to move on? Has she already given too many second chances to Aadi? This chain of thoughts was interrupted by the sound of main door opening.

Footsteps and smell of cigarette-smoke mixed with mint filled the bedroom air. Aadi slid inside the blanket and wrapped his arm around her. This concoction of fragrance, which she once used to find sexy on Aadi combined with the warmth of his embrace, felt so right. She hadn't experienced this feeling since a long time. Perhaps she had been a little too hasty in writing off this five-years old relationship. With a smile, she snuggled into his arms and set off to sleep, only to be interrupted by the message notification of her phone.

"I came down for a stroll & lost my door key. Am looking for it in the apartment compound... might take a while," read the message from Aadi.

© footprints-on-sand.blogspot.com

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

ढूंढा, पाया

Facebook की wall में, Mobile phone के scroll में, शहर के trendy mall में,
ढूंढा मैंने सुकून.
Beach के walk lone में, तालाब में फेंके stone में, No wifi zone में,
पाया मैंने सुकून.

Tinder की swipe right में, pub की disco night में, love at first sight में,
ढूंढा मैंने प्यार.
Kishore के गीत में, bike की back seat में, college के alumni meet में,
पाया मैंने प्यार.

एक ऊंची पगार में, latest model की car में, brand endorsed by top star में,
ढूंढी मैंने ख़ुशी.
Healthy lifestyle में, फुरसत की उस while में, अपनों की smile में,
पायी मैने ख़ुशी.

© footprints-on-sand.blogspot.com

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

तो आज़ाद हो तुम

Traffic signal में गाड़ी की खिड़की knock कर,
कोई plastic का तिरंगा लहराए,
तो आज़ाद हो तुम

अखबार में नारंगी 'freedom sale' ads के बीच,
दिन की ख़ास खबरें खो जाए,
तो आज़ाद हो तुम

Loudspeaker में बजता हुआ 'ए मेरे वतन के लोगों',
छुट्टी की सुबह नींद से जगाये,
तो आज़ाद हो तुम

Oblivion से निकाला हुआ 'seldom-used' कुरता,
Instagram और Facebook के selfies में छा जाए,
तो आज़ाद हो तुम

Set Max में 'बॉर्डर', Zee Cinema में 'तिरंगा',
और NDTV Goodtimes में 'Jai Hind with Rocky & Mayur' दिखाए,
तो आज़ाद हो तुम

Phone check करने पर,
WhatsApp में हर पल '50 unread messages' टपक जाए,
तो आज़ाद हो तुम

लाल किला में खड़े होकर कोई एक घंटा,
देश को, पिछली Government की नाकामयाबियां गिनवाए,
तो आज़ाद हो तुम 


[*inspired by Toh Zinda Ho Tum from Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara]

Wednesday, March 7, 2018

Delhi to Pune

On this day, 10 years ago, I began my stint in Pune. Oscillating between home-sickness and love-hate relationship with this city, my language, my food habits, my likes have transformed. I have transformed. This poem lists snippets of my journey...
------------

छोले कुलचे को miss करते हुए, पाव भाजी की plate निपटाता है.
5 star hotels की लड़ियाँ लगी है, फिर भी Goodluck Cafe ही जाता है.
समोसा हो, कीमा हो, या हो omelette... सब कुछ पाव के साथ खाता है.

आलू जिसका favorite हुआ करता था कभी, आजकल वह बटाटे से इश्क़ लड़ाता है.
प्याज़ पकोड़े को चाय के साथ खाने वाला, बारिश में कांदा भज्जी नौश फरमाता  है.
कूड़े को plastic में बांधके फेंकता था जो, गीला कचरा सूखे से अलग हटाता है.

Sweaters और muffler तो लाया था संग अपने. साल में एक बार उन्हें धुप लगाता है.
"पहले यहाँ भी काफी सर्दी पढ़ती थी," बोलके अपने leather jacket को सहलाता है.
Truck में लादकर अपनी Bullet लाया था इस शहर में, weekends को Royal Enfield चलाता है.

पहले भी बेझिझक जीता था वो, लेकिन अब बिंदास ज़िन्दगी बिताता है.
Sus Road को अपना address बताने से शर्माने वाला, हस्सके अपने Bhosari का पता लिखवाता है.
कहता था सबको, "भाई से पंगा मत लेना." अब भाई दूसरो के लफड़े सुलझाता है.

कबाड़ी वाले से मिलके अरसा हो गया, क्यूंकि रद्दी वाला पुराने paper उठाता है.
हर महीने Goa का plan बनाके, weekend Mahabaleshwar में बिताता है.
"जहाँ beer मिले, वही जगह है Goa," ये सोचके खुद का पीठ थपथपाता है.

जब बड़े शहर की शोर-गुल miss करे, तब Bombay की तरफ कदम बढ़ाता है.
और जब  this शोर-गुल gets to his nerves, shutter down करके दोपहर को सो जाता है.
दिल्ली का लौंडा हुआ करता था कभी, आज शान से पुणेरी कहलाता है.

Thursday, August 18, 2016

The avid gymmer

Whenever I managed to show up at the gym in the 5 to 6 AM slot, on every such day, be it rainy or cold or weekend, he would be there. After almost a year of only non-verbal greetings exchanged between us, I asked him the 'how' question about his consistency.

"Two years ago, while returning home at 6 AM, I spotted her near the next block," he said. "It was a rainy morning; she and the big bag she was carrying were drenched. I couldn't resist from offering her a lift." Like an adolescent-in-love, he asked me, "Would you like to meet her?" Reluctantly, I accompanied him in the return trip.

"There she is... the reason behind my consistency," as we approached the next block, he said, pointing to a nearly 80 year old lady, wearing tattered clothes, gazing at our direction with anticipation. She hunched under the weight of her bag.

"She sells vegetables on the footpath outside my apartment and used to walk five kilometers every day, be it rainy or cold or weekend, to reach there. On any morning, if I feel too lazy to set out for the gym, the image of her dejected face kicks me out of my bed," added the avid gymmer.


#AbridgedTrueStory

Monday, January 4, 2016

The closure

“But look around! You’re just 24, and own a fancy apartment located in one of the most happening neighborhoods of Gurgaon,” Vikrant said, almost spilling a part of the beer froth he had created in the glass during his animated discussion with Rocky.

“He’s right! You shouldn’t be complaining about a mere position in the company when you have such a grand lifestyle gifted to you by your father,” added Saaqib.

Rocky didn’t say a word, but was visibly shaking with anger. Today his father did what he had been doing unfailingly since the past many years; snatched away another dream of Rocky and gifted it to his brother. The younger son of the Malhotra clan was nominated as a partner to the family business, while Rocky remained a mere salaried employee. 

“I don’t even have my own room… have to share one with my moody sister,” Vikrant sighed as he fiddled with the unlit cigarette in his hand innately.

Vikrant and Saaqib were Rocky’s childhood friends, and both of them did not have a steady job. In order to sustain their high-class lifestyles, they inseparably stuck to Rocky like starved leeches.

“Do you know how much money he will make as a partner?” Rocky murmured. “A fucking two lakh rupees every month plus a share of the profit! While I, his elder brother, will have to be content with the peanuts that are thrown at me.”

The cacophony of the evening traffic filled the terrace where the three friends had gathered for their ritualistic Friday rendezvous. But, compared to Rocky’s outburst, the concoction of honks, snarls and modified silencer pipes sounded like a soothing buzz.

“And to make matters worse, dad has put up this apartment for rent, and asked me to move in with him next month! Once that happens, you guys can bid adieu to our booze fests.”

Rocky’s friends were taken aback. They exchanged glances, not knowing what to say. Vikrant placed his glass precariously on the fence and broke the silence, “But you are an independent adult! Your father cannot control your life like this…”

“You know how much my dad cares about my wishes. Two years ago I had to blackmail him by putting his gun to my head and threatening to shoot myself. That’s how he had agreed for me to move here!”

“Why don’t you do that again?” exclaimed Saaqib.

“He won’t buy that tactic any longer. And things have become so sour between us now, he would hardly care even if I shoot myself.”

The anger on Rocky’s face was apparent, but what was not visible was the anxiety his statement had drilled into his friends, which they were trying to cover behind a screen of drunkenness. Vikrant refilled Rocky’s empty glass. He downed it in three quick gulps.

“I know what I can do to get closure from my misery…” Rocky said with a gleam in his eye. “This time I will put the gun to dad’s head instead!”

* * *

“If your father doesn’t have a legal-will in place, then all his possessions will be equally distributed between your brother and you,” Saaqib stated, simultaneously using his smartphone to conduct a research on wills and inheritance laws.

As the evening transformed into night, Vikrant, Saaqib and Rocky became more determined that the threat of killing his father, Rocky had snapped at the spur of the moment, was in reality an excellent idea. Rocky would, once and for all, be free of the prejudice his father had been showering on his younger son. And, Vikrant and Saaqib would not be deprived of the addictive luxuries, they had been receiving from their friend, lifelong.

It took the three friends only an hour, and six bottles of beers between them, to cultivate the idea into a sophisticated crime-plan. Which, according to them, was fool-proof and nobody would suspect Rocky to have conspired to kill his own father. Rocky’s father wasn’t to see the light of next day.

“Where does your father usually keep his gun?” Saaqib, who seemed a bit nervous now, asked. Rocky was driving the car with Vikrant sitting next to him, holding a knife he had picked up from the kitchen in one hand and a screw driver from the car’s tool-kit in the other.

“Dad keeps his gun inside the top-most drawer of the bar cabinet. It will be easy for you to locate it after you enter his room.”

“But as per our plan, let’s stick to using these instead of waking up the neighborhood with a gunshot,” reiterated Saaqib, snatching the knife from Vikrant’s hand. The rest nodded, seemingly in a trance.

“Do you see that window... the one with a dim light on?” Rocky pointed towards the first floor of the lavish bungalow. He had parked his car away from the street light, right outside the ‘Malhotra Villa’. “Probably dad is enjoying a drink tonight. That’ll make your job easier and his death less painful; now that’s what we call a win-win situation.”

“What about your brother? Where would he be?” Saaqib asked.

“It’s well past midnight now. That dumb-ass would be fast asleep, don’t worry!”

Fishing out a bunch of keys from the glove compartment and handing it to Vikrant, Rocky signaled his friends to step out of the car. “The big one is for the lock at the main gate, and the small one opens the door. The staircase on the left side of the door will lead you to dad’s room. Make it fast and keep it clean!”

As his friends disappeared inside the dark ground floor of the bungalow, Rocky sat in an attentive stance – with one eye on the rear view mirror and the other on the street ahead. The locality was one of the poshest in Delhi, inhabited by only the rich and the famous who had very well adapted the practice of minding their own businesses. There was an eerie silence in the neighborhood, one which was occasionally shattered only by the utterly old watchman blowing his rattling whistle during his ceremonial round.

* * *

Taking into account the scenario, it was obvious for Rocky to get startled by the knock on his car window. Standing outside the car was his father, sporting a brown shawl and with reading glasses perched upon his bald head.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Rocky was hit by this imminent question as soon as he rolled the window down.

“I… err… I was planning to come home, but then changed my mind.”

“What! At this hour! Have you been drinking again?” said his father as he opened the car door and stepped inside to snuggle up in the seat next to Rocky’s.

“I am not liable to answer your every question, dad!”

“What did I do wrong while raising you? I would have been grateful to God had you possessed even a fraction of the courteousness your younger brother exhibits!”

“Dad, please! Don’t start harping praises about Anuj. One can exhibit only that amount of courteousness which is directly proportional to the amount of money and love you shower on him.”

“Oh, so it is about that! Look at yourself… do you really consider yourself adept of stepping into the shoes of the partner in my organization? You have to earn a position like that with hard-work and trustworthiness, son!”

“I have always tried my best to meet your expectations, but fallen short. Dad, accept it… you are just too blinded in the love of your ‘better and more capable’ son, Anuj, to ever notice my flawlessness!”

“Am I? Oh, am I? Which son of mine was pushed to the best and the most expensive college in town, purely based on my contacts? Who of my two sons received a car of his own as soon as he asked for it? And what did you do? …dropped out of college and toiled around with those loser friends of yours!” Rocky’s father clenched his fist around the gear stick to control his hyper state. “Till her last breath your mother warned me that I was spoiling you, but I never listened to her.”

“If you really care about my well-being, then why do you want to snatch away the apartment from me? Why do you want to keep me deprived of money?” Rocky asked in a bid to divert his father’s attention away from the gate, lest his friends would step out.

“Because I am aware how your loser friends are fleecing you. You are nothing more than a hen who is laying golden eggs for them!”

Rocky heaved a sigh and shook his head in frustration. He didn’t like anyone, especially his father, preaching him or pointing a finger at his friends. More than that, he was done arguing for the day. He sneaked a glance at his watch, followed by one at the window of his father’s room. Fifteen minutes had passed since his friends had entered the house! What were they up to? Would it be a good idea to send his father back home into the preying arms of Vikrant and Saaqib? But what if he raised an alarm on noticing the unlocked gate and open door?

After a moment of consideration, Rocky typed ‘ABORT PLAN. FLEE FROM BACKDOOR’ in his mobile phone.

“Years ago your mother had found some strips of an unknown medicine in your college bag. On consulting the doctor we came to know that you were addicted to abusive substances, but your aloofness prevented us from confronting you.”

Rocky looked at his father in awe!

“The stress owing to this broke down your mother and killed her eventually. I may have been wrong in my way of dealing with the situation, but I restricted the flow of money to you in order to stop your addiction.”

Rocky again read the message he had typed, addressed it to Vikrant before clicking the ‘send’ button. No sooner had he done that, a gunshot reverberated in the vicinity. It prominently came from his father’s room. In a reflex Rocky turned towards his father but, to his bewilderment, found the seat next to him vacant. His father was nowhere to be seen!

Rocky was so dazed that he did not see his friends rushing out of the house, running towards him with waving hands and barging into the car. He had to be shaken awake from his unnerved state and yelled at before he could start the car and flee from the scene with Vikrant and Saaqib.

A lot of questions were pounding inside Rocky’s head: Where did his dad come from in the middle of the night? Subsequently, how did he disappear into thin air suddenly? Whom did his friends shoot?

* * *

Vikrant turned towards Rocky and started narrating the episode in excitement, “We had attacked your father with both our weapons, and were pretty sure that he was dead. But the old man was more stubborn than we had anticipated.”

“Are you hundred percent sure that it was my dad who was present in the room?”

“What makes you ask this silly question, Rocky? Of course it was him,” replied Vikrant. “After attacking him, we scavenged for money and valuables from your father’s closet.”

"That was a spontaneous master-stroke which I introduced into the plan,” Saaqib added with a smirk on his face. “With this stroke, not only did we lay our hands on some riches, but also succeeded to paint a false coat of burglary motive on the killing.”

“Was there ample lighting in the room to ensure that none of you made any mistake in identifying my dad?”

“Rocky, what’s wrong with you! We clearly saw your father’s face… before and after killing him,” exclaimed Saaqib.

“Finally when we wrapped up the loot and were about to step out, I saw your father’s fingers move. Since he had seen our faces, I drew out the gun from his cabinet and shot a bullet to his heart. Under no circumstance could we take chances, you know,” Vikrant concluded the story.

Rocky drove on unabatedly. He had ultimately attained closure by getting rid of the heaviest shackle of his life. Perhaps his father too achieved closure by speaking his heart out to his elder son tonight. If everyone achieved what they had wished for, why did Rocky have to blink profusely to withdraw the drop of tear that had formed in his eyes?

* * *

Monday, November 30, 2015

From the heart...

कुछ शामें बचाके रखीं थी, यारों के साथ पीने के लिए...
काफी पैसे कमाके रखें थे, बाद में आराम से जीने के लिए... 

जाने कब मेरी ज़िन्दगी से निकल गयीं, वो बचाई हुई हर एक शाम।
यार दोस्त भी ग़ुम हुए, पीछे रह गए सिर्फ पैसे और जाम।

***************************************

कॉलेज-टाइम की वो रातें याद है यारों...
जब होता था कमरा खचाकच भरा और बोतलें खाली।

आज भी हर रात को महफ़िल जमती है मेरे घर में... 
बोतलें तो भरी हुई है, पर आज कमरा  है खाली।

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Why my father reprimanded me on Father’s Day?

It was unusual for my father to call me on a Sunday evening, more so because I had already made the customary weekend phone call to him and my mother earlier today. A tad bit worried, I muted the TV before answering his call.


Father: Couldn't you do even this bit?

Me: What?

Father: If you didn't have a photograph of us together, you should have asked me for it. I'd easily have clicked one from my old album and sent it through WhatsApp to you.

Me: Dad, you’re not at all making any sense to me!

Father: Since morning today, all my friends have been proudly flaunting the lovely Facebook wishes their children have posted for them. The posts displaying a picture of them together with their son or daughter, and my friends tagged in those.

Me: Oh... that?

Father: Yes, that! And I thought you are a good writer.

Me: Wait! Now what does it have to do with writing?

Father: All their children have written such emotional lines about their father in these posts. Hear this one… Verma’s son writes, “The greatest gift I ever had came from God; I call him Dad.” How touching is that!

Me:  Such quotes can be found aplenty in e-card websites. But, that’s not the point… when on earth did you start caring about such things?

Father: Ever since you have urged me to open a Facebook account and gifted me a smart phone. Now I feel that I was better off without them.

Me: But dad…

Father: Please do not ‘but dad’ me! I felt so out of place when everyone was discussing those posts and I had nothing to flaunt in my Facebook wall.

Me: You know how much I hate PDA, dad!

Father: Now, what’s that?

Me: PDA… err… Public Display of Affection. Also, Father’s Day is just a western concept promoted by the likes of Hallmark and Archies to increase their sales.

Father: You had said the same about Valentine’s Day, but so often I had seen you sneaking out of the house with those red and pink cards during your college days.

Me: Err… that's a different thing altogether!

Father: Only when it comes to doing things for your parents, your enthusiasm fizzles out!

Me: Sorry dad. I did not comprehend that a Facebook post would mean so much to you. Can I make up for it by writing a nice Father's Day wish and sending it via WhatsApp to you now?

Father: Don’t bother… now it’s too late! Just remember to post something nice and touching on your mom’s Facebook wall on Mother’s Day. I can bear this insensitive attitude of yours, but she gets hurt easily. I will email you a photograph of her with a 10-years-old you in her arms.

Me: But mom doesn’t even have a Facebook account! 

Father: So, create one for her. What can be a better Mother’s Day present than that? By the way, there’s one thing I have been contemplating to ask you since a while now…

Me: Please go ahead…

Father: Is everything fine between you and your wife? I've never seen you both wishing and thanking each other on Facebook for the ‘lovely companionship and years spent together’ during your wedding anniversary and other special days. All your friends and cousins do so!

Me: Goodbye, dad!

Monday, March 2, 2015

पैमाने ढूंढ़ता हु...

वजह नहीं मिलती यार से मिलने की,
तो बहाने ढूंढ़ता हु।
साथ बैठके जो खनकाए थे,
वो पैमाने ढूंढ़ता हु।

ज़िन्दगी को उँगलियों पे नचाते थे,
दूरियों को पल में मिटाते थे।
उन फुरसत भरे लम्हों के,
आज ख़ज़ाने ढूंढ़ता हु।
… साथ बैठके जो खनकाए थे,
वो पैमाने ढूंढ़ता हु।

Nirula's का बड़ा bill, टूटा हुआ दिल,
Exams में 40% लाने की मुश्किल।
इन problems को जहा fix करते थे,
वो कारखाने ढूंढ़ता हु।
… साथ बैठके जो खनकाए थे,
वो पैमाने ढूंढ़ता हु।

Birthday bumps के दर्द से बचने के लिए,
Extra jeans पेहेनके college जाना।
आज Whatsapp और Facebook के wishes में,
लम्हें वो बचकाने ढूंढ़ता हु।
… साथ बैठके जो खनकाए थे,
वो पैमाने ढूंढ़ता हु।

मौका नहीं मिलता यार से मिलने का,
तो पुराने अफ़साने ढूंढ़ता हु।
साथ बैठके जो खनकाए थे,
वो पैमाने ढूंढ़ता हु। 

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

The finger

I did not turn my head around! Through the rear-view mirror I kept looking at the black jeep which had stopped a few feet behind my car. As the driver stepped out, my pulse started racing. The guy was about six-feet tall, bald and with muscles bulging out of his tight, black t-shirt. With a contemptuous look on his face, he started walking towards my car. I double-checked the locks of the door and quickly rolled up the window. Clueless about what I could do to save myself, I sat there like a rock with a prayer on my lips…


Today was definitely not my day! Suchi had planned tonight’s dinner a month ago with a stern warning thrown at me, “You better not let me down this time, Aadi! My parents will be in town only for an evening before they fly off to the USA for a year.” Instantly I had blocked the calendar on my mobile phone and I had also emailed my leave request to the boss. But as fate would have it, today was the day my company’s key client, whose account I was responsible for, chose to visit us and negotiate the next contract.

“Trust me! I will be back by evening, sweetheart.” But this assurance wasn't enough to calm down Suchi. I am sure she felt that I was deliberately avoiding the meeting with her parents as I never had high regards for them. And why would I? I was never respected by them just because Suchi and I had eloped two years ago, shattering their dreams of acquiring an NRI son-in-law. But this time I had no intentions of shying away from meeting them. In fact I had prepared myself to face them, half-heartedly though, just because I did not want to hurt Suchi’s feelings.

The client’s flight landed late owing to the notorious Delhi fog. And thanks to that delay, I was here sitting in a meeting with them till eight o'clock in the evening.

“Aadi… can you at least return home by ten o'clock, so that we can go to see off my parents at the airport?” Suchi had called up during my meeting, and her tone clearly reflected that she was trying her best to not shout at me and maintain decorum, perhaps because her parents were sitting at an audible distance from her. At nine o'clock when I asked my boss to excuse me from the dinner-meeting with the client, he did not take it too well. “What can I say? …it’s your decision. But I am sure you know that opportunities like these seldom knock at the doors of junior executives like you! And such obliviousness from your part might also affect your appraisal,” he said looking away.

No amount of scoffs or invectives could hold back me at this hour. If this is what I get in return of putting in my long hours, weekends and sweat for this company, I was better off being in my boss’s bad books than sacrificing any more hours from my personal life.

It being a Friday night, the streets were packed with an ironical combination of people (like me) leaving from work late, the BPO executives heading to work and the ones who had set out to party for the weekend. To add to the traffic woes, the City Municipality had decided to dig up one side of the road near my office to repair a pipeline. Precariously maneuvering through the infuriated cars, I managed to cover barely five kilometers in an hour. Sharp at ten o'clock my phone rang…

“Do you have any idea what the time is, Aadi?”

“I am on my way… the traffic is really bad today.”

“You always have an excuse ready at your fingertips! I am not even sure if I should trust you. If you didn't want to meet them, you could have simply told me!”

The auto rickshaw in front of my car refused to budge, and the black jeep behind my car kept blaring its horn at me.

“Suchi… you are putting unfair blame on me now! I did not refuse to meet your parents… but I can’t set aside my job for them!”

“Of course you can’t… you are always prompt in dodging all social contacts with my family in pretext of your job!”

 “Suchi! I am sure the flights would be delayed because of the fog, and we can make it in time to drop your parents at the airport. Now, if you let me drive peacefully I will try to reach home in half-an-hour,” saying this I disconnected the call.

I tried to swerve my car to overtake the broken-down auto rickshaw, but the incessant honking by the jeep behind my car didn't stop. Clubbed with the just-concluded argument with my wife, this behavior by the driver of the jeep was enough to tick me off! I rolled down my car’s window, put my arm out and gave him the finger before zipping out of my lane.

In an attempt to reach home quicker and pacify my wife’s temper, I decided to take the albeit longer, but lesser used route. The street lights were quite dim here, and the only human beings you could spot were an occasional group of rickshaw drivers huddling around a bonfire. Since I wasn't too familiar with this route, I strived to keep track of the directions. As I slowed down to ensure that I did not miss the next turn, my eyes fell on the rear-view mirror and I realized that a vehicle had been following me ever since I had diverted from the main road. On a closer look I realized that it was the same black jeep which was honking behind me, and the driver of which I had abused indicatively.

Was the jeep driver following me? Perhaps I was overreacting. To check if he was really on my trail, I accelerated up my car and took a few impromptu turns. But to my horror, wherever I went, the black jeep followed. Now I could feel my heart thumping against my chest and a trickle of sweat flowing down my forehead. Oh no! Had I ruffled the wrong feathers? Looking at the make of the vehicle, the owner certainly seemed to be an influential or powerful person or possibly both. That was it… I had to lose him from my tail or hit the main road again where there would be other people to save me. With my foot pressed hard on the accelerator, I just sped through the unknown lanes without paying heed to directions at all, till I hit a dead-end.

I did not turn my head around! Through the rear-view mirror I kept looking at the black jeep which had stopped a few feet behind my car. As the driver stepped out, my pulse started racing. The guy was about six-feet tall, bald and with muscles bulging out of his tight, black t-shirt. With a contemptuous look on his face, he started walking towards my car. I double-checked the locks of the door and quickly rolled up the window. Clueless about what I could do to save myself, I sat there like a rock with a prayer on my lips.

The knock on my car window shook me up, but I gathered some courage to look towards his face with a fake but dramatic ‘I-am-not-scared’ expression. With an evil grin on his face, the bald man gave me the finger, walked back to his jeep and drove away!

As I was trying to come to terms with what just happened, the notification tone of my mobile phone made me rake for it in the darkness. ‘1 message from Suchi’.

“I called a cab for Ma and Pa and they have left. Please don’t bother to leave your WORK behind for such trivial occurrences of my life!”

The mobile phone clock showed eleven o’clock and I was stranded at an unknown spot in the middle of nowhere. The only picture remaining in front of my eyes was that of the bald man giving me the finger.


Wednesday, April 23, 2014

The 'prized' posession

“Babujee... could you please keep an eye on my bag lying there?” a jittery voice interrupted the interesting plot of the novel that I was reading.

I moved my gaze to discover the source of the voice - a dark face, tanned further by over exposure to the summer sun... teeth stained with gutkha... drowsy eyes displaying either fatigue or drunkenness. The strands of hair peeking out of his nose and ears were longer than his unkempt stubble, and the amount of dirt he had been exposed to was revealed by the gooey black accretion in the corner of each eye. I could make out from the wrinkles on his face and arms, and looking at his receding hairline leading to a patch of gray hair, that he was at least seventy years old. He was shabbily dressed in a torn dhoti (which I presumed would be white in color had it been washed), and his hand quivered while pointing towards the tattered jute bag which was kept on the floor of the railway station platform, a few meters away from where I sat. The brown bag reminded me of the big sack of potatoes that Bansi, our subzeewala, kept near the wall behind his roadside shop and resting against which I have seen him take numerous naps during the pleasant summer afternoons of Pune. The jute bag of this old man was as big as Bansi’s sack, and was filled with God-knows-what.

I chose not to reply and turned back to the book that I was reading.

“I will return in no time,” saying this he limped away, before I could react. Did he interpret my silence as an ‘okay’ nod? How could he expect me to guard the belongings of a stranger... and especially one whose appearance did no good to establish that he was a trustworthy individual?
Making a dog’s ear on the page that I was reading, I closed the book and looked around. The big digital clock hanging near the over-bridge displayed 7:15 am.

'May I have your attention please! 22041... Goa Express from New Delhi is running late by 30 minutes, and will now arrive at 7:45 am on platform number two. We regret the inconvenience caused.' This announcement did not come as a surprise to me, yet I let out a sigh of disgruntle. Stealing one quick glance at the sack which the old man had left at my custody, I wandered around to locate a tea stall.

* * *

This morning I had to wake up much earlier than usual to reach the railway station on time. My father was coming from Delhi and hence I was pulled out of the bed at 6:00 am by my wife.

“You are really shameless, Aadi!” she had shouted right after tugging away the blanket covering me. “Why do you bother to set the alarm if it fails to even budge you?”

I remember sitting up on the bed, rubbing my eyes for quite some time. “When is dad’s train scheduled to arrive?”

“In an hour!” she had screamed back before running towards the kitchen.

Hearing this I had sprung up on my feet and rushed to the bathroom. This was the first time that my father was visiting Pune ever since we had moved to this city a couple of years ago. This made my wife very conscious and she was on her toes since last week to have the house in tip-top condition before he arrived. I wondered what she would have done had my mother also accompanied my father in this trip.

“How many times did I tell you to get curd from the grocery store, Aadi? You know very well that dad likes to have curd after lunch!”

I had just formed a lather of the toothpaste in my mouth and couldn’t speak much – which was in fact a good thing for me as I did not have an apt reply. I stared at her reflection on the mirror and put up a guilty expression, while I continued brushing my teeth.

“You are really ridiculous!” were her last words before she had dashed out of the room.

* * *

“Your tea, sahib!” said the shop attendant banging the small glass of cutting-chai on the counter. The aroma of ginger lingered into my nose as I took the first sip... just what one needed in a rainy Pune morning like this. Finishing the steaming shot of tea, I strolled back to the bench which I had occupied earlier. I could have walked away to a different seat but I don’t know what made me go there and check if the old man’s belonging was safe. It was.

The tattered sack, with one cardboard piece sticking out of it, lay on the dirty platform floor untouched. Behind the sack was a steel pillar with a poster stuck on it... ‘Please call 100 if you see any suspicious object lying unattended.’ I scanned the vicinity to see if I could spot the old man, but he was nowhere to be seen. It had been at least 15 minutes since I had last seen him. One part of me compelled me to raise an alarm, while the other said that it was not that big a deal. As I seated myself on the bench with conflicting thoughts scuffling in my mind, my phone rang.

“Aadi... the train has crossed Lonavala 20 minutes ago. I think it will enter Pune station in the next 10 minutes,” I heard my father’s excited voice over the phone.

“Please be at your seat when the train enters Pune, and don’t bother to scuffle through the crowd carrying your suitcase, dad! I don’t want you to sprain your ailing back.”

I chit chatted with my father for a couple of minutes, trying to convince him that I will be standing right outside the compartment he is seated in and will help him get down in time, before a commotion on the platform diverted my attention. Hanging up the phone, I walked up to the mob that had accumulated at a distance. Jostling my way through a few people forming the outermost ring of the crowd, I realized that the object causing this ruckus was the tattered sack left behind by the old man.

A police hawaldar stood at an arm’s length poking it with a stick.

“Who does this belong to?” he let out an annoyed yell. Nobody responded. I too chose to remain silent.

“I repeat... if the owner of this sack does not come forward right away, I will have it thrown away!”
Restlessness crept into the hawaldar as he failed to receive a response to his repeated inquiries. He poked deeper into the sack inducing the mob to step back slowly. With a careful flick of the stick, he forced open the mouth of the sack and spilled out its contents on the floor.

I peeked over the shoulder of the person standing in front of me to get a closer look at what emerged from the sack...
Two over-ripe bananas, one half eaten vada-pav, a foil containing leftovers from the meal distributed in trains, two empty ice-cream cups, one crushed bottle of mineral water, a few pieces of wood and cardboard, some dirty plastic spoons and one empty beer bottle.

What! This was the ‘prized’ possession of the old man which he wanted me to guard? How ridiculous... who on earth would have even touched this rag-picker’s bag?!

* * *

As soon as Goa Express’ entry into the station was announced, everyone in the platform was pushed around in the hustle-bustle and I rushed to follow compartment AS-4.

Typical of my father, not heeding to any of my instructions, he was standing at the door of his compartment with a suitcase in one hand and holding the handle of the door with the other. His eyes searched for me in the stadium-like crowd.

“The food they served in this train is better than the one your mother and I ate while going to Calcutta. And my God... the weather in Lonavala was excellent. It felt as if we were traveling between the clouds...” my father chattered on with a child-like excitement. I knew that his excitement was owing to the fact that he was meeting me after many months, and the train journey had a lesser contribution towards it.

I had a suppressed smile on my lips as I nodded on and carried his suitcase ...with him trotting close on my heels.

As we raced past the other passengers, who had disembarked from Goa Express, to reach the stairs of the over-bridge before it became too crowded; I spotted the same old man who had approached me to watch over his sack. He was standing near the steel pillar – one with the poster stuck on it... ‘Please call 100 if you see any suspicious object lying unattended.’

With his head grabbed tightly between both hands, he looked at the contents of his sack strewn all around. All the eatable items it once contained were mashed under the footsteps of the thrilled members of the crowd who had rushed to receive their family members on arrival of the train. The expression on the face of the old man was that of utter disappointment. Next to him was an old woman sitting on a wooden plank with four small wheels. Both her legs were amputated. She was trying to lick out whatever was left in a corner of the foil which had once contained a sumptuous meal distributed in the train.

At that moment it occurred to me that perhaps the old man had left for a while to bring his wife over. Perhaps the leftover food items were their lavish breakfast of the day. Perhaps the sack was really his ‘prized’ possession!

As I walked off with the wave of the massive crowd, the old man’s eyes met mine for a moment. He didn’t react, but the disappointed expression on his face screamed out to me, “All I had requested you to do was guard my sack for a few minutes...”

Thursday, November 7, 2013

वही टाइम, वही ट्रेन, वही रूट और वही सारे हमसफ़र....

वही टाइम, वही ट्रेन, वही रूट और वही सारे हमसफ़र....

...लेकिन आज पहली बार मेरे बगल में बैठे अंकल से मैने थोड़ी बातें की.
... पहली बार स्कूल के उन बच्चों की अन्ताक्षरी मुझे शोर सी नहीं लगी.
(और शायद उन के साथ मैने मन ही मन थोड़ा गुनगुनाया भी)
...पहली बार एक अजनबी परिवार के साथ ताश के दो हाथ खेले.
...पहली बार चिल्लाया नहीं जब उस भिखारी ने मेरा घुटना थपथपाते हुए एक रूपया माँगा.
...पहली बार खिडकी से बाहर झाँका, और जाना की उस कंक्रीट जंगल के अलावा भी एक और पहलु है इस शहर का.
...पहली बार एक नए मुझसे मिला मैं, और उसके साथ काफी समय बिताया!

क्यूंकि आज जल्दबाजी में मेरा स्मार्ट फ़ोन घर में भूल आया हूँ मैं...

(this is my 1st attempt to write in Hindi after primary school, so please excuse mistakes in grammar and spellings)

Monday, July 29, 2013

Examinations simplified!

The first thing that came to my mind when I saw this video about 'examify' was, "I wish somebody would have thought of this idea when I was in high school!"
Although I do have a concern, that if this app gains popularity, it would be like blessing every fighter in the Kurukshetra battlefield with a Brahmastra*. And in today's world where the cut off marks of even the not-so-popular colleges are touching the 100% mark, I wonder what would be the aftereffects of distributing such a power to all students.

Franklin Templeton Investments partnered the TEDxGateway Mumbai in December 2012, and a young hacker, Angad Nadkarni, presented an overview about his creation, 'examify' during one of the sessions. As he spoke about the challenges every student goes through while facing the cut-throat competition in every field, we could see an empathizing audience cheer his theories about 'noise' and and the solution he offered as an answer to counter this 'noise'.

The app uses the fundamentals of data mining doubled with Angad's hacking skills to 'steal' data from other websites, and the result is a magic wand to tell a student the questions he/she can expect in an examination. Awesome, isn't it?

So if you are a student, or are close to one, do not restrict from viewing/sharing the video link above to guarantee better results! Kudos to the young Angad for coming up with a brilliant idea...


- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
* Brahmastra, sometimes known as the Brahma Astra (Astra means 'weapon'), was described in a number of the Puranas as considerably the deadliest weapon. It was said that when the Brahmastra was discharged, there was neither a counter attack nor a defense that could stop it.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

THE PERFECT ROAD TRIP

So what comes to your mind when I say the four words - THE PERFECT ROAD TRIP?
•    Probably an open jeep or a convertible?
•    Exquisite weather?
•    A beautiful companion?
•    Lovely music collection?
•    A trip to Goa?

Unfortunately THE PERFECT ROAD TRIP of mine had none of these, yet it turned out to be just perfect. How? Read on...

Let me now pull you away from the dream points I have listed above, and throw some light on the real situation I was in. So, I was driving a rented Maruti 800 which seemed to be at least fifteen years old. The weather was hot and humid, just as it usually is in any coastal belt during the month of March. My companion was Ankur, a hitchhiker I had met just a couple of minutes ago. The only music I could hear was the cacophony generated by the rickety parts of the vintage car. And, I was headed to Pune from Shrivardhan (a small beach-town in the Konkan region of Maharashtra).

It all started three days back when I, with my fifty odd colleagues, had set out to Shrivardhan for a project get-together and team building session. To cut a long story short, after last night’s bonfire party, I was so sloshed that I do not remember what happened after the last jig I performed on Yo Yo Honey Singh’s latest number. I opened my eyes today morning to find myself lying in a corner of the beach, with none of my colleagues in sight. When I called up one of them, I was informed that they had already left for Pune an hour back. So all that I could do was rent a car using my resort owner, Mr. Gaekwad’s contacts, and here I was on my way back home. The deal was that I would be contacted by a guy called Rajesh in Pune, and he’ll bring the car back to Shrivardhan. As soon as I entered the car, it was very evident by the whiff inside that it belonged to a local fisherman who used the vehicle to ferry his day’s catch. Seeing my frowned nose, Mr. Gaikwad pulled out an Ambi Pur freshener from his car and generously sprayed it inside the Maruti.

“Here you go. It’s as fresh as new,” he said. To my surprise he was right, and the fragrance was lemon, which matched perfectly with the wedge of lime I was licking to cure my bad hangover. I drove out of the resort, unsure about how long the junk car would hold its ground.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

My fear was no mean exaggeration, and that was proven by the fact that the car’s engine stopped no sooner had I touched the highway. I should have taken the bus, but the uncertainty of getting one had made me decide in the contrary. I stepped out and opened the hood of the car – not because I had the skills to detect or fix whatever was wrong there, but with the sheer hope that some passerby might stop to help, seeing my broken down car.

“Just staring at the engine with your arms behind your back won’t help, buddy. Need a hand?” I heard a voice from behind me. A tall and well-built lad in his mid twenties stood there. He was carrying a huge backpack, and the way he constantly chewed on a gum as he spoke lent him an American accent.

“The darn car won’t move. Do you mind pushing it a bit as I try to get the engine started?” I put forth my request.

“Why not,” said he and shoved his backpack into my car. “A man needs to pamper his car like a girlfriend, which you obviously haven’t been doing.”

“It’s a rented car,” I said irately.

"Oh! So she's not your girlfriend. That gives you all the more reason to pamper her" he added stroking the roof of the car with an affectionate expression.

I did not smile.

Immediately he rolled up his sleeves, stepped behind the car and gave me the thumbs up sign. After putting in a lot of sweat and patience, we finally managed to get the car started.

As I thanked the stranger who helped me, I noticed that although he looked like a traveler but he did not have any vehicle of his own. “Where are you off to?” I asked.

“Pune. I was hoping to get a bus from the next bus stop on this highway,” he said pointing towards the road ahead. “Can you please drop me there?”

“Hop in dude! I am going to Pune too, and I can do with some company for the road.”

So that is how I ended up in the current situation that I was in.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It usually takes a little less than four hours to drive from Shrivardhan to Pune. But taking into account the upcoming combat between the rickety car I was driving and the mountainous terrains, I was expecting us to conclude the entire journey in roughly five hours. The initial two hours passed by pretty uneventfully during which Ankur told me a lot about himself. I did not grasp much of what he was saying, apart from his name and the fact that he was a stand-up comedy artist who juggled his time between Mumbai and Pune.
No wonder he was such a chatterbox! But one good thing that came out of his constant blabbering was that it prevented me from dozing off.

“Would you like to drive for an hour?” I interrupted him with the sole intention of grabbing a brief nap.

Thankfully he agreed. But my plan of dozing off fell flat on its face, as the chatterbox in Ankur did not take a back seat even after I handed him the control of the steering wheel.

“So what’s your story?” Ankur asked as we whizzed past a small tea shop before I could tell him to stop. I didn’t mind having a cup of tea and something to eat. It had been many hours since I had had my last meal.

“Story... what do you mean?”

“Are you usually so grim and quiet?” Ankur reiterated his question.

Seeing a small restaurant I signaled Ankur to stop the car, and this time he applied the brakes just in time. As Ankur parked the car I thanked my stars for finding an excuse to dodge his question, and getting access to some grub at last. As we entered the roadside restaurant, Ankur’s phone rang.

“Please order a sandwich and coffee for me. I’ll attend to this call and join you,” said he before picking up the call.

There was a huge list of items in the menu card but the attendant shook his head against every option I asked for.

“Sahab, you’ll only get vada-pav and poha at this moment,” he said after listening to me patiently for a while. Irately I ordered poha and tea for us.

“Will that be all, sahib?”

My scornful look drove him away.

Ankur arrived at the table after five minutes, and so did our food.

“I asked for sandwich,” said Ankur peeking into the tray as it was being placed on our table. I repeated my scornful look for Ankur and he got the message.

“Ditch the sandwich,” he said. “I need a favor from you.”

I looked enquiringly.

“My very close college friend from Mumbai, who’s an assistant director, is in Lavasa today for a film shooting session. Can we divert from our route a bit, as I would really like to meet him?”

“A bit?” I exclaimed. “That’s almost an hour off track!”

“Please... please...” Ankur pleaded. “It’s a Sunday today, and we’ll reach Pune well before sun down.”
I desperately wanted to enter my house as soon as possible and hit the bed, so tired was I. But I gave in to his request.

The truth is, the prospect of meeting a movie unit excited me.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

With the sun in its scorching best, March is not the ideal time to visit Lavasa. In fact it isn’t the ideal time to step out of one’s house in the first place. The drive to Lavasa was quicker than what we had anticipated, thanks to the almost nil traffic.

I was the one driving in this leg of our journey, and Ankur directed me towards the lake beside which we could see the set up of a film unit. Parking the car at a distance from the nearest tent, we walked towards the unit.

“There you are, you bugger,” screamed the guy wearing a red cap and came running up to us. Ankur and his friend took a while to catch up before I was introduced to the assistant director.

After we exchanged greetings, I was seated under a huge umbrella with a spot boy being called over to serve me snacks and drinks, which I readily accepted. Sipping from my glass of lemon soda I admired the picturesque view of the lake as Ankur and his friend chatted up at a distance. I tried my best to locate the actors but, to my disappointment, failed to spot any recognizable face.

“Sandy has a proposal for you.” I did not notice when Ankur had walked up to me. His friend was standing next to him. I looked towards Sandy, the assistant director.

“Let me get to the point...” started Sandy. “We have to shoot the next sequence in fifteen minutes and for that we need an old, tattered Maruti 800. We had fetched one from the garage and dented it to look real, but after our director saw your car, he feels that it fits the bill better!”

“But how long will that take?” was my instant reaction.

“It may take a while,” Sandy stated apologetically. “But please do not worry... we will make arrangements for your stay in the best suite of the lakeside hotel.”

That sounded tempting. What sounded more tempting was when he added, “We’ll also pay you fifteen thousand rupees as a fee for using your car.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

As I relaxed in the bathtub of my suite, Mr. Gaikwad, the resort owner called, “I hope you have reached Pune safely, sir. I would like to apologize yet again for not being able to arrange a better transportation for you.”

“You couldn’t have possibly found a better car, Mr. Gaikwad because you got me the best,” I said with a smile. “Please do me a favor, will you? I will wire transfer fifteen thousand rupees to your account tomorrow... please give it to the owner of the car with my compliments when you return the car to him.”

There was a moment of silence from the other end of the call. After about half a minute, I heard Mr. Gaikwad's voice, “You’ve got to be kidding me, sir! Was the car so good?”

“Let’s just say that it smelt great, and that made my road trip just perfect!” I said with a smirk.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Thursday, January 24, 2013

SUBUcasms

Incidents from my daily life, cited with a pinch of salt (shared by me on Facebook over the years...)

Wah re Indian TV censorship! Leonard has to restrict himself by describing Sheldon's comic-con costume as 'kick***', but it is perfectly okay for Fast Track to scream 'move your ass' in a completely out-of-context advertisement.
30 Jun 2013

Smart move by Vidya Balan in Ghanchakkar! By playing the role of a woman with a weird (read bad) sense of dressing, she has silenced the fashion police this time ;)
25 Jun 2013

...just saw the trailer of Policegiri! The judge who decided to delay Sanjay Dutt's imprisonment to let him complete this movie should also be put behind bars.
15 Jun 2013

When my wife's driving the car, I don't get to sit on the back seat...The atheist in me does!
11 June 2013

Dear Mr. Neighbour! Haven't you heard the story about the boy who cried wolf? Nobody's going to believe your freaking car alarm when the thieve actually strikes...
5 Feb 2013

Yes, I want only one chicken burger! Extra cheese - no thank you! No, I don't want fries with it! Thank you, but I wouldn't like to have anything to drink along with my burger! Seriously, I am not interested to know about your combo-deal! Yes, I will eat it here! No, I do not have five rupees' change!
Heck, my wife asks lesser questions when I return home late at times.
2 Feb 2013

...while channel surfing this morning, I stumbled upon the Benny Hinn show. After preaching the audience 'to stop worrying about physical appearances and focus on one's soul', he went on to sell the bible with 'an attractive leather cover'!!!
17 Oct 2012

The fuming driver stepped out and held the biker, who had barely brushed against his car, by the collar. As the argument heated up, a smiley-card dangling from the car's rear-view mirror caught my attention - one side read 'LOVE' and the other 'PEACE'.
22 Sep 2012

Tricky question: "Does this dress look good on me?"
Trickier question: "Is this dress better than the previous one I tried?"
Killer question: "You aren't even looking! Tell me... what was the color of the last dress I showed you?"
4 Jul 2012

"What's all this fuss about antioxidants! If it's so important, why wasn't it part of the Balanced Diet / Nutrition chapter in your primary school book?" the old lady sitting at the table beside mine exclaimed. I silently put aside my cup of green tea...
17 Jun 2012

good news: ...so many choices :)
bad news: ...the darned 2 liter limit :(
17 Mar 2012

Scene: Finale class of the Shiamak dance school happening inside the aerobics-room of my gym. Small kids putting up a fine performance in front of their parents...
Sad part: 90% of the audience is watching the performance thru the small screen of their mobile phones while recording!
Sadder part: I too miss the performance as I get busy updating this status on FB!
Damn! I hate gadgets!!!
3 Mar 2012

...while watching a soap opera on Star Plus (plz don't judge me) with my wife, the (innocent) heroine, Kavya is slapped by her mother-in-law (who else?), and poor she falls face down on the floor (a shot which is shown repeatedly 3 times).
My wife turns towards me and exclaims, "Did you see that!?"
I nod my head in sympathy...
"...Kavya is wearing exactly the same ear-rings which I had bought from Delhi last week," my wife concludes!
26 Feb 2012

A busy crossing... I'm waiting behind a Maruti A-star to get to cross over to the opposite side of the street...
Suddenly the vehicle ahead of me starts rolling back... I honk! ...it keeps approaching my car... I honk again! No amount of honking manages to stop the bumpers of our cars from eventually meeting!!!!
"Oops! I turned the rear-view mirror towards my face, and got busy in applying lipstick. Hence I failed to notice that my car was moving," SHE explained matter-of-factly...
22 Feb 2012

Conclusion I derived after observing my relatives during my bro's wedding: we Bongs are 'distinctively crazy'!
Each one of us eats till he/she lets out a loud burp, and every meal is followed by a generous dose of Digene. And to shield against the harsh 'dilli ki sardi' everybody turned to the classic Boroline and mufflers, monkey caps (no, these items aren't extinct yet) ;)
19 Feb 2012

...lesson learnt! While having dinner, one shouldn't ask for an extra helping when he is drunk.
I did something unforgivable last night... asked for 'one more julab gamun' sitting amidst 45 relatives :(
18 Feb 2012

finally I caught up on my sleep! ...at the theater ...while watching 'ek maiy aur ek tu'!
13 Feb 2012

You know it's a national holiday when one TV channel is showing Border, another Gadar to be followed by Gandhi and the prime time is blocked for Manoj Kumar movies!
Sigh... definitely not an apt day to laze at home watching TV :(
26 Jan 2012

...one of those days when I was caught in a conflict between my head and my heart. I listened to my wife!
15 Jan 2012

One of those days when the heart feels "TGIF", but the calendar says "SHIT" (Sorry Honey It's Thursday)...
12 Jan 2012

So, what's the final verdict? Is the world coming to an end in 2012?
I need an answer quick - before the last date to plan my investments draws near...
2 Jan 2012

Sheer casting error in in MI4! Why did they choose Anil Kapoor for that role, when Shakti Kapoor would have been a perfect fit :P
22 Dec 2011

The two dreaded words are all set to screw up my Saturday night ...
DRY DAY :(
2 Oct 2010